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UNIVERSITY  OP  CALIFORNIA 
LIBRARY 


C5C  LIBRIS 


GEORGE  V.  HOBART 


PRODUCERS 


FIRST  EPISODE 
Youth:    "Do  you  know   what 
pou  are  ?-  the  dearest  sweet 
heart  in  all  ihe  world." 

Page  / ' 


M     rt 

O-i  -^ 


THIRD   EPISODE  f   ft 

PLEASURE:     "Come,  Youth,  a  glass  of  wine— you'll  like  it. 

Page  38 


FIFTH  EPISODE 

WORK:  "Well,  you  size  up  all  right  to  me-     I'm  looking  for 
biicjnrq  like  von." 

Page  76 


SIXTH   EPISODE 
•RA<LTY:     "It's  dark,  ain't  it?— black  dark  for  both  of  us 

Page  108 


SEVENTH  EPISODE 

DELUSION:     I've  got  a  forget-factory  right  around  the  corner. 
Come  on,  Bo,  I'll  put  VQU  wise." 

113 


W 


TENTH  EPISODE 
LOVE:     "I've  waited  when  every  hour  was  an  age  and  every 

'lay  an  eternity." 

Page  126 


EXPERIENCE 

THE  MOST 

WONDERFUL  PLAY 

IN  AMERICA 


Copyright,   1914,  by 
GEORGE  V.  HOBART 

Copyright,   1915,  by 
THE  H.  K.  FLY  COMPANY 


In  its  present  form  this  play  is  dedicated  to  the 
reading  public  only,  and  no  performances  of  it  may 
be  given.  Any  piracy  or  infringement  will  be  pros 
ecuted  in  accordance  with  the  penalties  provided 
by  the  United  States  Statutes:— 

Sec.  4966. — Any  person  publicly  performing  or  representing 
any  dramatic  or  musical  composition,  for  which  copyright 
has  been  obtained,  without  the  consent  of  the  proprietor  of 
the  said  dramatic  or  musical  composition,  or  his  heirs  or 
assigns,  shall  be  liable  for  damages  therefor,  such  damages 
in  all  cases  to  be  assessed  at  such  sum,  not  less  than  one 
hundred  dollars  for  the  first  and  fifty  dollars  for  every 
subsequent  performance  as  to  the  Court  shall  appear  just. 
If  the  unlawful  performance  and  representation  be  wilful 
and  for  profit,  such  person  or  persons  shall  be  guiylt  of  a 
misdemeanor,  and  upon  conviction  be  imprisoned  for  a 
period  not  exceeding  one  year. — U.  S.  Revised  Statutes, 
Title  60,  Chap.  3. 


TO 

THE    THREE 
WHO  HEARD   IT  FIRST 


434492 


CONTENTS 


PAG1 

THE  FIRST  EPISODE 
"In  the  Land  Where  Dreams  Begin" '. 

THE  SECOND  EPISODE 
aln  the'  Street  of  Vacillation" 19 

THE  THIRD  EPISODE 
"The  Primrose  Path" 28 

THE  FOURTH  EPISODE 
"In  the  Corridors  of  Chance" 5f 

THE  FIFTH  EPISODE 
"The  Street  of  Disillusion" 75 

THE  SIXTH  EPISODE 

"In  the  House  of  Last  Resort". 83 

THE  SEVENTH   EPISODE 

"The  Street  of  Remorse" Ill 

THE  EIGHTH   EPISODE 
"The  House  of  Lost  Souls". 11:> 

THE  NINTH  EPISODE 
"The  Street  of  Forgotten  Days" 121 

THE  TENTH  EPISODE 
"In  the  Land  Where  the  Dreamer  Wakens" . .  .  125 


First  Episode. 


Second  Episode. 


THE  CAST 

(In  the  order  of  their  appearance.} 
LOVE 
HOPE 
YOUTH 
AMBITION 
EXPERIENCE 
PLEASURE 
OPPORTUNITY 
GUSH 
DRIVEL 
EXCITEMENT 
TRAVEL 
SONG 
SPORT 
FASHION 
BLUEBLOOD 
STYLE 
FRIVOLITY 
CONCEIT 
SNOB 
PRIDE 
BEAUTY 
DECEIT 
SLANDER 
WEALTH  ,• 
INTOXICATION 
PASSION 


Third  Episode. 


ROULETTE-DEALERS 


CAUTION 

VENTURE  - 

SUPERSTITION 

SYSTEM 

STUPID 

DESPAIR 

WAITER 

CHANCE 

CARELESS 

THOUGHTLESS 

WORK 

GROUCH 

FRAILTY 

MAKESHIFT 

ROGUE 

DISSOLUTE 

SNEAK 

ILLITERATE 

RECKLESS 

CHEAT 

INDOLENCE 

RASCAL 

POVERTY 

LAW 

DELUSION 

HABIT 

DEGRADATION 

CRIME 


Fourth  Episode. 


Fifth  'Episode. 


Sixth  Episode. 


Seventh  Episode. 
Eighth  Episode. 


THE    FIRST    EPISODE. 

IN    THE    LAND    WHERE    DREAMS    BEGIN. 

DESCRIPTION:  The  Home  of  Love,  on  the  Hilltop.  Then 
is  a  small,  old-fashioned  cottage  at  Left^ 
It  is  covered  with  vines  and  rambler  roses^ 
A  practical  door  and  window  in  cottage, 
A  rustic  fence  crosses  stage  obliquely.  A 
country  lane  outside  of  the  fence.  Insidt 
tthe  fence  and  around  the  house  is  the 
flower  garden.  A  rustic  bench  is  near  tht 
fence.  Peach  and  apple  trees  are  in  blos 
som.  On  the  side  of  the  hill  in  the  dis' 
tance  is  an  old-fashioned  country  church, 

DISCOVERED:  LOVE,  standing  alone  by  the  fence,  looking 
off  down  the  lane  as  the  curtain  rises* 
Birds  singing  in  the  trees  in  the  distance, 
LOVE  turns  presently  and  sits  on  tht 
rustic  bench  near  the  fence — sighs.  Entet 
HOPE. 

HOPE 

Good  morning,  Love,  dear — isn't  it  a  perfect  morning! 

LOVE 

Yes,  Hope,  and  I'm  happy  because  the  morning  is  so  perfect 
Youth  is  goinq;  away  and  I  want  him  to  have  clear  skies 
for  his  journey.  It's  lucky,  isn't  it,  Hope,  for  him  to 
start  out  for  the  Big  World  with  sunshine  all  about  him  1 

HOPE 

Of  course  it's  lucky.  But  are  you  really  happy  or  just  pre 
tending? 

(9) 


10  EXPERIENCE 

LOVE 

Well,  I  don't  suppose  I  can  be  really  and  truly  happy  when 
the  one  I  am  fondest  of  in  all  the  world  is  going  away — 
but  I  won't  let  him  see  that  I'm  unhappy. 
HOPE 

That's  the  way  to  do. 

LOVE 

And  while  he's  gone — well,  I'll  have  you,  won't  I,  Hope? 

HOPE 
Yes,  Love,  I'll  be  with  you  every  minute. 

LOVE 

I  wonder  what  it's  like  out  there  in  the  Big  World  ? 

HOPE 

Oh,  it's  a  wonderful  place.    And  Success  will  be  waiting  for 
him  right  around  the  first  corner. 

LOVE 

I  know  that — I'm  sure  of  it — but  he'll  meet  other  people, 
won't  he? 

HOPE 
Of  course — he'll  meet  a  lot  of  people. 

LOVE 
Will  he  meet  any  girls,  do  you  think? 

HOPE 

I  suppose  so. 

LOVE 
Pretty  girls  ? 

HOPE 
Very  likely! 


EXPERIENCE  11 

LOVE 

Do  you  think  he'll  meet  any  girl  he'll  like  better  than  h« 
likes  me? 

HOPE 
Of  course  not.     Aren't  you  his  first  sweetheart? 

LOVE 

Yes,  but  a  young  man  very  seldom  marries  his  first  sweet 
heart — didn't  you  know  that? 

HOPE 

No. 

LOVE 

Well,  it's  true — I  read  it  in  a  book. 

HOPE 

Don't  you  believe  it.    He'll  come  back  to  you  and  you'll  lire 
happily  ever  after. 

(YOUTH'S  whistle  heard  «#.) 

LOVE 
There  he  is  now! 

(Runs  to    gate — lo o ks    off — calls — "  Woo-hoo!  "—••£ fcsssto^ 
ing  whistle  heard  off.) 

Hope,  dear,  of  course  I  don't  want  you  to  go,  but — I  j«s* 
happened  to  think  of  something  I  wanted  to  say  to  h'«* 

(Whistle  heard  off — nearer — LOVE  answers :  "Woo-hoo") 

Of  course,  dear,  you  may  stay  right  here  if  you  want  to,  but 
I  was  thinking  that 


12  EXPERIENCE 

HOPE 
(laughing) 
I  understand  perfectly. 

(HOPE  exits.) 

(Whistle  heard  quite  close — LOVE  answers  it.  YOUTH  runt 
on,  speaking  as  he  enters  the  gate.) 

YOUTH 
Love,  dear! 

LOVE 

(putting  her  arms  around  his  neck) 
Youth! 

YOUTH 

(Embraces  her — kisses  her) 

Love,  dear!  You  see,  I'm  away  ahead  of  time — aren't  you 
glad?  And  you're  not  going  to  be  unhappy  when  I'm 
gone,  are  you,  Love  ? 

(LovE  tries  hard  to  be  brave  and  smiles  up  at  him — 
shaking  her  head  slowly  in  reply  to  his  question.) 

You're  smiling — isn't  that  splendid!  Come,  let's  sit  here 
together,  for  we  have  so  many  things  to  talk  about. 

(They  sit  on  bench — he  kisses  her.) 

Do  you  know  what  you  are? — the  dearest  sweetheart  in  all 
the  world! 

(Music — very  faint  and  low — is  heard  from  the  church 
across  the  valley.) 


EXPERIENCE  13 

f 

LOVE 

Listen ! 

(Pause — both  listen  to  music  in  distance.) 

YOUTH 

It  seems  as  though  the  little  church  were  whispering  good 
bye  to  me. 

LOVE 

No,  Youth,  that's  the  way  the  spirit  of  your  dear  dead 
mother  wishes  you  God-speed  on  your  journey. 

(Pause — both  listen  until  music  dies  away.) 
YOUTH 

Yes,  dear;  that's  the  way  she  alwrays  comes  back  to  me — in 
the  voice  of  music. 

(His  tone  changes.) 
I  had  almost  forgotten! 

(Holds  up  left  hand,  showing  ring  on  his  little  finger.) 
Look,  Love !  the  little  ring  I  bought  you  to  remember  me  by. 

(He  gives  her  the  ring.) 

LOVE 

(looking  at  it) 

To  remember  you  by!  Oh,  Youth,  Youth,  dear!  I  don't 
need  a  ring  for  that.  I'll  remember  you  by  the  sun  that 
rises  and  sets — I'll  remember  you  by  the  breezes  that 
whisper  messages  from  you  as  they  pass  me  by — I'll  re 
member  you  by  the  blue  sky  that  bends  above  us,  and 
the  summer  rain  beating  upon  the  roof  will  sing  your 
name  to  me.  Through  all  the  daylight  hours  I'll 


14  EXPERIENCE 

with  you  through  the  Halls  of  Memory  and  when  ths 
night  comes  and  the  shadows  deepen  my  spirit  shall  search 
for  yours  amidst  the  darkness. 

(She  puts  her  arms  around  him  and  her  head   *>n  his 
shoulder.) 

YOUTH 

Oh,  Love,  clear,  I  didn't  mean  that  you'd  forget  me — I — Oh, 
please,  Love — look  at  me  and  smile  again. 

(She  looks  up  and  tries  to  smile.) 
Won't  you  wear  it,  just  as  a  keepsake? 

LOVE 

(taking  the  ring  and  kissing  it  several  times.) 
No,  Youth,  but  I'm  going  to  ask  you  to  wear  it — always! 
See !     I've  kissed  it — now  I'm  going  to  put  it  on  your 
finger  and  mak^  a  wish  to  keep  evil  away  from  you  while 
you're  away  from  me ! 

(She  raises  his  hand  to  her  lips  and  holds  it  there  as  she 

makes  the  wish.) 

There,  Youth,   dear;   I've  made  my  wish — and  when   you 

come  back 

YOUTH 

*And  when  I  come  back  if  I'm  not  able  to  put  this  little  ring 
on  your  finger  then  you'll  know  me  for  an  unworthy 
pilgrim  whose  soul  is.  bruised  and  tarnished  by  contact 
with  the  world  I'm  setting  out  to  conquer. 

LOVE 

Oh,  but  come  back,  even  bruised  or  tarnished — come  back. 
Youth — please  don't  forget  me! 


EXPERIENCE  15 

• 

YOUTH 

Forget  you ! — does  the  river  forget  to  roll  on  to  the  sea  ? — 
do  the  stars  forget  to  shine  at  night  ? — do  the  birds  forget 
to  sing  in  Springtime?  Forget  you — never — never — 
through  pleasure  or  pain,  through  joy  or  sorrow,  through 
weal  or  wroe — and  the  good  God  lets  me  live! 

(He  embraces  her.) 
(  HOPE  enters  from  the  cottage!*, 

HOPE 

Remember,  children,  there  must  be  r.o  tears  at  parting \ 

YOUTH 

(Goes  to  HOPE — kisses  her  on  forehead) 
Hope,  my  best  of  sisters! 

(AMBITION  enters  at  Right — stands  outside  the  fence.) 

AMBITION 

Come,  Youth ;  you've  tarried  over  long.    You  said  the  parting 
would  be  brief. 
(AMBITION  comes  through  the  gate  and  into  the  scene.) 

YOUTH 

Yes,  Ambition,  I'm  quite  ready  now. 

LOVE 

(runs  to  YOUTH — puts  her  arms  around  him  passionately) 
Oh!  I  can't  be  brave — I  can't!    I  can't! 

YOUTH 
Oh,  Love,  dear,  you're  crying — what's  the  matter? 

LOVE 

He  frightens  me,  I  tell  you.  I  don't  want  you  to  go  out  into 
the  big  world  with  him. 


16  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

But  Ambition  is  my  friend — he's  eager  and  anxious  to  do 
great  things  for  me  in  the  big  world — things  that  can 
.  only  be  done  by  him. — I  must  go  with  him,  Love  I1 

LOVE 

I  know — but  I  never  saw  him  until  now — and  I'm  fright 
ened.  Don't  you  understand — can't  you  see — Ambition 
is  cold  and  cruel  and  heartless — and  you'll  be  all  alone 
with  him. — Oh,  don't  go — Youth,  just  think — who  will 
comfort  you  when  you're  weary? — who  will  bring  ten 
derness  to  your  bedside  when  you're  ill? — Plerse,  Youth, 
don't  go! 

YOUTH 

But,  Love,  I  shall  never  be  weary  and  I  shall  never  be  ill — • 
I  am  Youth  and  ills  and  weariness  can  never  vex  me.  Oh, 
Love,  why  do  you  stand  between  me  and  Ambition  ? 

LOVE 

Because  I  hate  him — he  is  taking  you  away  from  me. 

YOUTH 
But  speak  to  h'rn,  please ! 

LOVF 

Nv>;  I  don't  want  to  speak  to  him.  We  have  nothing  in 
common.  Ambition  is  too  selfish. 

AMBITION 

(with  a  sneer) 
/t  is  quite  impossible  for  T*e  to  be  mor^  selfish  than  Love. 


EXPERIENCE  17 

YOUTH 

And  I  was  so  sure  you'd  be  such  good  friends — I'm  disap 
pointed.  Don't  you  remember  that  ever  since  we  were 
little  children  we've  roamed  these  hills  together  and 
dreamed  our  golden  dreams! 

AMBITION 

Come  on,  Youth;  come  on! 

•  YOUTH 

And  always  in  those  dreams  together  we  decided  that  I  must 
go  out  into  the  Big  World  and  get  right  into  the  thickest 
of  the  fight. 

LOVE 

Yes,  but  always  I  was  to  be  by  your  side — always — till  Am 
bition  came.  Please  let  me  go  with  you! 

AMBITION 

To,  no;  you  would  be  in  the  way.     (To  YOUTH)  Come  on. 
Youth ;  come  on ! 

YOUTH 

He  means,  Love,  that  only  he  can  help  me  climb  those  peri 
lous  heights.  See,  I  have  money  to  start  with — Ambition 
says  it's  plenty  to  take  me  up  and  up  to  the  very  summit 
of  glory.  Soon  I'll  be  back — laurel-crowned  and  rich — • 
and  then  just  you  and  I  together,  Love! 

AMBITION 

Come  on,  Youth;  there's  time  for  Love  later  on. 


18  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

Good-bye,  dear  Love!  And,  Hope,  you'll  be  ever  with  her, 
won't  you? 

HOPE 

I'll  never  leave  her. 

YOUTH 

God  bless  you! 

AMBITION 

Come  on,  Youth  \ 

YOUTH 

Look,  Love,  to  the  East — it  is  the  morning  of  life  and  every 
cloud  is  rosy  with  promise.  Good-bye ! 

(YouTH  embraces  LOVE — then  gently  sends  her  to  HOPE. 
LOVE  puts  her  arms  around  HOPE.) 

LOVE 

(tearfully) 
Oh,  Hope!   Hope!  you  are  ail  I  have  left  now. 

YOUTH 

(turning  to  AMBITION) 

Go  on,  Ambition,  I'll  follow  you  up  the  ladder  of  the  skies 
and  look  down  upon  the  world  from  your  highest  pin 
nacle — go  on — I  follow! 

(AMBITION  goes  out  through  the  gate — YOUTH  follows. 
Together  they  walk  proudly  away  down  the  country 
lane.  LOVE  cries  in  HOPE'S  arms.) 

T7IE  I       0  OF  THE  EPISODE. 


THE  SECOND  EPISODE 

IN  THE  STREET  OF  VACILLATION 

DESCRIPTION:     An  impressionistic  view  of  the  Biff  World. 

DISCOVERED:      AMBITION  is  u'alking  on  the  scene,  followed 
by  YOUTH. 

AMBITION 

Come  on,  Youth;  you  must  follow  closer;  I  have  no  time  for 
those  whose  footsteps  falter. 

YOUTH 

My  footsteps  haven't  faltered — but  I  must  look  about  me 
once  in  a  while. 

(EXPERIENCE  enters  from  the  Left.    He  stands  looking 
at  YOUTH  with  a  kindly  smile  on  his  face.) 

The  Big  World  is  very  wonderful  to  me.  In  my  fondest 
dreams  it  never  seemed  so  grand  and  vast  and  awe-com 
pelling.  Its  very  bigness  frightens  me  and  in  my  heart 
there  is  a  feeling  of  vague  unrest.  All  about  me  the 
people  hurry — to  and  fro,  they  hurry — endlessly,  eternally 
hurrying,  passing  me  by  unnoticed,  with  never  a  smile  of 
greeting,  like  shadows  fading  in  a  fog — their  faces  for 
ever  reflecting  their  inmost  thoughts  of  money,  money, 
money !  And  I,  who  am  about  to  join  this  horde  of 
hurrying  humanity  and  become  a  shadow  in  a  land  of 
(19) 


20  EXPERIENCE 

shadows,  feel  in  my  soul  a  loneliness  unspeakable.  The 
Big  World  is  very  glorious  and  thrills  me  even  as  the 
stories  of  deeds  of  valor  in  the  War  of  the  Nations  thrill 
me,  but  in  this  one  weak  moment  my  heart  is  yearning 
for  the  Hilltop  and  for  the  rustle  of  the  wind  through 
the  sycamores.  I  feej  like  a  coward  as  the  battle  begins ; 
afraid  of  the  noise  and  the  fury  of  the  fight — I  want  to 
turn  back  and  mn  to  the  comforting  arms  of  Love. — I 
want  to  see  again  the  twilight  deepen  over  the  quiet 
valley  and  hear  the  last  sweet  call  of  the  distant  robin  to 
its  mate ;  I  want  to  be  where  there  is  no  selfishness  in  the 
hearts  of  those  who  smile  a  blessing  on  me  and  where  the 
only  sorrows  that  we  know  are  those  that  are  sent  to  us 
by  a  kind  and  loving  God ! 

AMBITION 

Come!  come!  you  are  homesick-' — that  is  all.    The  World  is 
before  you — make  yourself  its  master. 

YOUTH 

Yes,  yes,  I  know,  it's  gone  now  and  I 

(Pulls  himself  together.) 
I'm  all  right.     Go  on,  I  follow! 

EXPERIENCE 

(taking  YOUTH'S  hand  and  shaking  it) 

So  those  are  your  impressions  of  the  Big  World !'    And  well 
put,  my  boy,  well  put ! 

YOUTH 
(coldly) 
Pardon  me — I  don't  know  you,  sir! 


EXPERIENCE  21 

EXPERIENCE 

Experience  is  my  name. 

YOUTH 

Still  I  don't  know  you. 

EXPERIENCE 

But  you're  going  to — you're  going  to  know  me  very  well— 
we're  going  to  be  great  pals,  my  boy ! 

YOUTH 
What  are  you? 

EXPERIENCE 

I  am  the  champion  school  teacher  of  the  world. 

AMBITION 

Come  on,  Youth — we're  losing  time. 

EXPERIENCE 

Who  is  your — Oh,  of  course,  Ambition!     I  thought  I  recog 
nized  that  voice! 

(Crosses  to  him.) 
What  are  you  up  to  now — you  dear  old  rascal ! 

AMBITION 

Why  do  you  delay  us? — I  am  leading  this  boy  on  to  fame 
and  fortune. 

EXPERIENCE 

Delay  you,  God  forbid !     I  shall  journey  with  you  if  for  no 
other  reason  than  the  exercise. 
YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 

I   don't  like  the  way  you  speak  to  him.     Ambition  is  my 
friend  and  you're  a  stranger. 


-&t  EXPERIENCE 

EXPERIENCE 

Bu'  In  the  end  /  shall  be  your  best  remembered  friend, 

YOUTH 

\  "Want  you  to  know  that  I  love  and  trust  and  believe  IE 
Ambition. 

EXPERIENCE 

(/o  AMBITION) 

I,  too,  love  you,  though  I  know  you  to  have  such  fickle 
qualities  that  friendship  shudders  at  your  name;  I,  too, 
trust  you,  though  I  know  you  to  be  the  most  accom 
plished  cheat  and  hypocrite  of  all  the  ages;  and  I,  too, 
believe  in  you  though  I  know  you  to  be  the  most  glorious 
liar  that  ever  inflamed  the  mind  of  man. 

AMBITION 

This  is  extremely  annoying Come,  Youth,  we  must  go. 

(PLEASURE,  a  beautiful  woman,  enters  from  the  Left.) 

EXPERIENCE 

(seeing  her — speaks  to  YOUTH) 
One  moment! 

(Goes  to  PLEASURE) 

Good  morning,  Pleasure!  I'm  delighted  to  see  you — how 
are  you  ? 

PLEASURE 

A  trifle  weary  this  morning,  dear  friend.  No  sleep — and  the 
wine  too  sweet — besides,  those  new  dances — they  are  so 
acrobatic — they  tire  me  dreadfully. 

(Indicating  YOUTH.) 

But  who  is  this?  Why  does  he  gaze  so  longingly  in  my 
direction  ? — I  hope  he  isn't  flirting  with  me ! 


EXPERIENCE  2$ 

EXPERIENCE 

No,  MO;  he  doesn't  know  the  meaning  of  the  word. 

(To  YOUTH.) 
Y  nth,  come  here;  Pleasure,  may  I  present  Youth! 

PLEASURE 

Oh,  this  is  a  charming  adventure.     Youth,  and  innocent,    , 
Experience  tells  me! 

EXPERIENCE 

Ar  incredible  paradox  in  these  days,  isn't  it?  What  with  the 
Traffic  in  Souls  in  the  Movies ;  Houses  of  Bondage  in  the 
legitimate;  sex  hygiene  in  the  public  schools  and  eugen 
ics  in  the  parlor,  innocence  has  fled,  shame-faced,  to  the 
wilderness. 

PLEASURE 

Absolutely  true.  All  the  children  of  my  acquaintance  are 
middle-aged  roues. 

(Enter,,  from  Right,  OPPORTUNITY,  a  plain-faced  woman, 
dad  in  sombre  grey — she  crosses  AMBITION — pauses — 
then  turns  to  him.) 

EXPERIENCE 

(laughing) 

It's  easy  to  see  he's  never  met  you  before — the  boy  is  fas 
cinated. 

(The  three  laugh  and  chat  together.) 

AMBITION 

(as  OPPORTUNITY  turns  and  faces  him) 
My  best  friend — Opportunity ! 


24  EXPERIENCE 

OPPORTUNITY 

I  must  speak  with  Youth.     I  bring  him  good  news. 

AMBITION 

He  is  yonder.     Speak  to  him ! 

PLEASURE 

My  dear  Youth,  you  are  splendid ! — And  this  evening  you 
will  join  me  in  the  Primrose  Path,  won't  you? 

OPPORTUNITY 

Youth! 

YOUTH 

The  Primrose  Path— Oh!  I'd  love  to. 

OPPORTUNITY 

Youth! 

PLEASURE 

I  must  show  you  off  to  my  friends. 

EXPERIENCE 

Be  careful  how  you  praise  Youth  or  they'll  be  your  friends 
no  longer. 

(The  three  laugh  and  chat  in  pantomime.) 

OPPORTUNITY 

Youth! 

EXPERIENCE 

(turns — sees  OPPORTUNITY) 

Oh,   Opportunity — how  are  you?     You  want  to  speak  to 
Youth  ?    Pardon  me ! 

(To  YOUTH.) 
This  lady  wishes  to  speak  with  you. 


EXPERIENCE  25 

YOUTH 

Not  now — wait  till  Pleasure  finishes  her  story. 

(YouTH  and  PLEASURE  chat  in  pantomime — EXPERI 
ENCE  turns  to  OPPORTUNITY — shrugs  his  shoulders — 
turns  to  YOUTH  and  PLEASURE  and  joins  their  conver 
sation  in  pantomime.) 

OPPORTUNITY 

(turns  slowly  to  AMBITION) 

I  have  called  Youth  but  he  does  not  heed  me.     I  can  wait 
no  longer.     Farewell! 

(OPPORTUNITY  walks  off  slowly  at  Right.) 

AMBITION 

Oh,  the  fool!     He  dallies  there  with  Pleasure  and  lets  Op 
portunity  leave  him. 

(Loudly.) 
Youth!    Youth! 

YOUTH 

(rubbing  his  eyes — as  though  waking  from  a  dream) 
Yes,  yes,  who  called  ? 

AMBITION 

I  called  you. 

YOUTH 

Oh,  my  dear  friend  J 

(To  PLEASURE.) 
Forgive  me,  please — I  must  go ! 

PLEASURE 
(holding  YOUTH) 
But  to-night  do  not  fail  me! 


26  EXPERIENCE 

AMBITION 

Pleasure,  let  that  boy  alone! 

PLEASURE 

Oh,  you  old  skin  and  bones — behave ! 
(To  YOUTH) 
Remember,  to-night — the  Primrose  Path! 

(Laughs  invitingly.) 

AMBITION 

Come,  Youth,  the  road  to  fame! 

(Points  off  at  Right.) 

PLEASURE 

(insinuatingly) 

The  Primrose  Path ! 

AMBITION 

The  Road  to  Fame ! 

PLEASURE 

Remember,  to-night,  the  Primrose  Path ! 

(Laughs  and  walks  off  at  Left.) 

YOUTH 

That  way  the  Road  to  Fame — this  way  the  Primrose  Path 
of  Pleasure.  In  her  eyes  I  saw  the  promise  of  most  won 
derful  delights  and  she  says  the  path  is  strewn  with 
thistle-down  and  the  scent  of  wild  flowers  fills  the  air. 
And  the  other  road  is  long  and  straight  and  narrow  and 
there  are  brambles  at  either  side  to  tear  the  flesh — Oh, 
God!  what  shall  I  do?  What  shall  I  do? 


EXPERIENCE  27 

EXPERIENCE 

(putting  his  arm  around  YOUTH'S  shoulder) 
My  boy,  you'll  do  just  as  countless  millions  have  done  before 
you — you'll  reach  out  presently  and  grasp  poor  old  blind 
Destiny  by  the  hand  and  then  you'll  take  whichever  path 
he  chances  into ! 

THE  END  OF  THE  EPISODE. 


THE  THIRD  EPISODE 


IN    THE   PRIMROSE   PATH 

DESCRIPTION:  A  golden  Cabaret  in  that  region  known  as 
the  Haunts  of  Pleasure.  Small  tables  on 
both  sides  at  which  men  and  women  are 
dining.  In  the  Center  is  an  archway 
through  which  may  be  seen  a  wide  path 
way,  bordered  on  each  side  by  primroses, 
leading  to  a  fountain.  Through  the  large 
oval  windows  at  the  Right  and  Left  of 
the  room  glimpses  may  be  seen  of  a  gar 
den  in  the  moonlight. 

DISCOVERED:  When  Curtain  rises  the  men  and  women  are 
paired  off  at  the  eight  tables  as  follows : 

Women  Men 

SONG  (Table  No.  1— Down  Stage  R.)  SPORT 

BEAUTY                  (Table  No.  2— Right)  STYLE 

SLANDER                (Table  No.  3— Right)  SNOB 

FRIVOLITY             (Table   No.   A — Right)  CONCEIT 

FASHION  (Table  No.  1 — Down  Stage  L.)  BLUEBLOOD 

EXCITEMENT           (Table  No.  2 — Left)  TRAVEL 

DECEIT                   (Table  No.  3— Left)  GUSH 

PRIDE                      (Table  No.  A — Left)  DRIVEL 

(The  lights  in  the  room  are  subdued  and  on  each  table  there 
are  small  electric  lamps  with  red  shades.    The  characters 
(28) 


EXPERIENCE  29 

are  dining  and  chatting  quietly.  Presently  when  orchestra 
strikes  up  a  "one-step"  knives  and  forks  are  dropped  hur 
riedly  and  all  the  characters  get  up  and  dance.  When 
the  dance  is  over  the  characters  go  back  to  the  tables  and 
resume  dining.  PLEASURE  appears,  standing  in  the  arch 
way  in  the  background.) 

PLEASURE 

My  dear  friends! 

( They  all  rise.) 

Oh,  please!  don't  get  up!  Go  right  ahead  with  the  Battle 
of  the  Bottle  and  the  Bird. 

(Omnes,  except  GUSH  and  DRIVEL,  sit  at  tables  and  con 
tinue  dining.) 
I  merely  wanted  to  see  if  you  were  all  happy! 

(GusH  and  DRIVEL  go  to  PLEASURE.  DRIVEL  keeps  jab 
bering  away  all  the  time,  but  nobody  understands  a  word 
he  says.) 

GUSH 
I  want  to  tell  you,  Pleasure 

PLEASURE 

Yes,  Gush — is  everybody  all  right?  All  right,  Drivel,  I'm 
listening. 

DRIVEL 
(jabbering) 

Wonderful  part  about  it  is — temperature  just  about  right- 
tried  to  dance  Tango  but  I  stepped  on  her  foot — he  was 
here  early  in  the  evening — never  could  understand — I 

told  him  I  wore  size  36 

(And  so  on  ad  lib  during  the  scene.) 


30  EXPERIENCE 

GUSH 

I  want  to  tell  you,  Pleasure,  that  the  wine  is  perfect — Cha 
teau  Viviana,  76 — drops  of  gold,  that's  what  it  is • 

Oh,  Drivel,  shut  up— let  me  tell  her. 

(DRIVEL  keeps  on  jabbering.) 

And  the  birds,  just  melt  in  your  mouth' — I  don't  know  when 
I  ever  tasted  anything  so  gastronomically  correct  and 
perfect. 

PLEASURE 

(to  DRIVEL) 

Yes,  Drivel,  I  hear  you.  Thank  you,  very  much,  Gush- 
Yes,  I'll  dance  with  both  of  you  later  on. 

(She  sends  them  back  to  their  tables.) 
(EXCITEMENT  and  TRAVEL  leave  their  table  and  go  to 
PLEASURE.) 

EXCITEMENT 

(very  nervous — can't  keep  still  a  moment} 
Oh,  Pleasure,  dear,  we're  having  a  perfectly  glorious  time — • 
the  wine  is  perfectly  entrancing  and  the  food  is  perfectly 
exquisite — and,  Pleasure,  I  have  a  secret  for  you — a  per 
fectly  astounding  secret ! 

.       PLEASURE 

Calm  yourself,  my  dear  Excitement!  (To  TRAVEL)  What 
marvelous  stories  of  adventure  have  you  been  telling  Ex 
citement,  my  dear  Travel  ? 

TRAVEL 

I  was  merely  telling  Excitement  about  a  dance  I  saw  done 
by  naked  savages  on  the  banks  of  the  Goola  River,  near 
Lake  Nyanza  in  Africa. 


EXPERIENCE  31 

EXCITEMENT 

And  I  suggested — didn't  I,  Travel? — I  suggested  that  Travel 
must  explain  publicly  just  how  the  naked  savages  dance 
and  then  we'll  have  a  perfectly  splendid  time  learning  it. 

PLEASURE 

You'll  find,  my  dear  Excitement,  that  the  naked  savages 
dance  exactly  as  we  do — except  that  they  are  not  con 
scious  of  their  nakedness. 

TRAVEL 
Thus  obviating  the  necessity  of  a  divorce  court. 

(PLEASURE  laughs  and  crosses  to  SONG,  who  is  at  Right.) 

EXCITEMENT 

(to  TRAVEL,  as  they  go  back  to  their  table) 
Oh!    I'm  so  disappointed!     I'm  just  crazy  to  have  somebody 
invent  a  new  and  perfectly  outrageous  dance ! 
(They  sit  at  their  table.} 

PLEASURE 

(to  SONG) 

Come,  my  dear  Song,  it's  time  you  were  adding  your  voice 
to  the  general  happiness. 

SONG 
What  shall  I  sing,  Pleasure? — Something  classical? 

SPORT 

Classical — nothing!  Sing  something  we  can  move  our  feet 
to.  When  you're  out  in  the  Primrose  Path  with  Pleasure 
you  don't  want  any  music  that  gives  you  time  to  think — 
am  I  right,  old  dear? 

PLEASURE 
You're  quite  right,  Sport! 


32  EXPERIENCE 

SPORT 

Vou  know  that  classical  stuff  is  all  right  on  the  pianola  be 
cause  you  can  get  up  and  leave  the  room.  But  for  me, 
something  with  the  "pep"  in  it — something  smooth  with 
the  little  old  gingef  behind  it.  My  brain  is  all  wrapped 
up  in  dancing  and  I  don't  want  anybody  to  take  the  cover 
off. 

PLEASURE 

Come,  Song — something  lively!1 

THE  MODERN  SONG 

In  the  Primrose  Path  of  Pleasure 

The  songs  of  an  ancient  day 
With  their  grace  and  stately  measure 

Are  taboo  and  passe, 
And  no  echo  of  them  lingers 

In  the  modern  cabaret 
Where  the  singers  snap  their  fingers 

And  warble  in  this  way: 

v         REFRAIN  : 
Just  call  me  baby — 
Or  a  beautiful  doll! 

(She's  a  doll!   She's  a  doll!) 
If  you  do  then  maybe 
I  will  answer  your  call! 
(She's  a  beauty — 
She's  a  cutey — 

With  her  baby  eyes  of  blue ! ) 
Say,  be 


EXPERIENCE  33 

In  a  hurry — that's  all! 
Just  call  me  baby 
Or  a  beautiful  doll ! 

(Do  you  think  she  could  be  true?) 

i 

SECOND  VERSE  I 

In  days  gone  by  and  olden 

The  songs  they  used  to  hear 
Had  music  sweet  and  golden 

And  Mem'ry  holds  them  dear; 
But  nowadays  it's  different      • 

And  sad  it  is*  to  state 
That  music  is  not  music 

Unless  you  syncopate. 


REFRAIN  : 

Just  call  me  baby — 
Or  a  beautiful  doll! 

(She's  a  doll!    She's  a  doll!) 
If  you  do  then  maybe 
I  will  answer  your  call! 
(She's  a  beauty — 
She's  a  cutey — 

With  her  baby  eyes  of  blue!) 

Say,  be 

In  a  hurry — that's  all! 
Just  call  me  baby 
Or  a  beautiful  doll! 

(Do  you  think  she  could  be  true?) 

(After  the  dance  Omnes  go  to  tables.) 


34  EXPERIENCE 

PLEASURE 

(to  SONG — after  the  dance) 
Tfoank  you  so  much,  Song.     The  selection  was  perfect — so 

fresh  and  modern. 
(YOUTH  and  EXPERIENCE  enter  through  archway,  both  very 

fay  and  happy.) 

YOUTH 

Pleasure ! 

PLEASURE 
(greeting  him) 

Yowth!  then  you  are  here — I'm^o  glad!  Welcome,  Experi 
ence! 

EXPERIENCE 

Thank  you,  Pleasure! 

YOUTH 

Arwl,  Pleasure,  let  me  thank  you !  It's  glorious.  The  music 
and  laughter!  and  the  air  is  sweet  with  the  far  faint 
odor  of  dying  rose-leaves !  Everywhere  there  are  women's 
ejes  that  sparkle  like  the  moonlight  on  a  silent  river! 
Everywhere  there  are  white  arms  that  beckon  me  to  lips 
incarnadine  with  welcome.  Oh!  Pleasure,  how  wonder 
ful  you  are  to  grant  me  all  this. 

(He  turns  to  EXPERIENCE.) 

Isn't  she  wonderful,  Experience? 

EXPERIENCE 

Wonderful,  indeed,  in  that  she  has  no  knowledge  of  the 
pain  that  follows  ever  in  her  footsteps. 

PLEASURE 

Why  voice  unpleasant  thoughts,  Experience?  Pain  and  I 
have  been  enemies  since  the  beginnig  of  things. 


EXPERIENCE  35 

(To  YOUTH.) 
Are  you  really  glad  you're  here — in  the  Primrose  Path? 

YOUTH 
Glad !     My  heart  is  beating  with  delight ! 

PLEASURE 

Tell  me,  now — what  do  you  think  of  me? 

YOUTH 

I  think  you  are  the  end  of  the  rainbow  and  all  the  treasures 
of  the  world  are  in  your  keeping.  I  think  you  are  the 
sunshine  of  a  cloudless  day  and  all  the  flowers  of  the 
earth  look  up  at  you  and  worship. 

PLEASURE 

Oh,  Youth!  Youth!  the  poetry  of  Youth! 

EXPERIENCE 

Youth  is  the  store-house  of  all  poetry.  He  looks  upon  the 
world  as  a  garden  of  roses  and  dreams  never  of  winter 
nor  decay. 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 

But  you,  yourself,  told  me  I'd  find  her  fascinating.  Come 
now,  what  do  you  think  of  her? 

PLEASURE 

Oh,  don't  ask  him — please! 

EXPERIENCE 
In  the  light  of  ages  I  think — 

(bows  to  PLEASURE) 

— saving  your  presence,  dear  lady! — I  think  Pleasure  is 
but  the  stain  of  last  night's  wine  spilled  upon  the  table 
cloth.  She  is  but  a  snowflake  falling  into  the  ocean. 


36  EXPERIENCE 

Pleasure,  my  boy,  is  the  last  faint  crimson  flush  which 
a  setting  sun  has  left  to  die  alone  in  a  cold  gray  sky. 

YOUTH 

But  I  don't  understand.  She  looks  so  beautiful  and  so  in 
nocent. 

EXPERIENCE 

God  made  Pleasure  innocent  but  Mankind  has  made  her 
wise. 

PLEASURE 

(laughs} 

True,  possibly,  but  Youth  must  forever  pursue  me  even  if 
Experience  proves  me  a  will  o'  the  wisp.  Come,  Youth, 
you  must  meet  my  friends. 

(She  takes  him  to/  the  table  down  stage  at  Left  where 
BLUEBLOOD  and  FASHION  are  sitting — EXPERIENCE  fel 
lows.  ) 

Fashion,  may  I  present  my  friend,  Youth! 

YOUTH 
Fashion — how  do  you  do! 

FASHION 

Oh,  yes,  of  course — Youth;  awfully  glad  to  see  you.  Pardon 
me,  won't  you,  for  not  shaking  hands — but  I'm  afraid 
my  dress  will  fall  off. 

YOUTH 

Oh,  I  feel  so  relieved.    I  thought  it  had  fallen  off. 

FASHION 

Have  you  noticed  my  earrings — absolutely  new — imported 
from  Algiers. 


EXPERIENCE  37 

YOUTH 

Are  they  really  earrings? 

FASHION 

What  did  you  think  they  were? 

YOUTH 

I  thought  they  were  alarm  clocks  to  tell  you  when  the  styles 

change. 

FASHION 
Oh,  no;  we  women  don't  need  an  alarm  clock  to  awaken 

us  to  the  importance  of   dressing  stylishly.     Have  you 

noticed   how  my   hair   is   done   up — an   imitation   of   an 

Esquimaux  woman — don't  you  like  it? 

YOUTH 

Yes,  I  like  it  horribly. 

FASHION 

I  just  love  to  find  a  new  excuse  to  make  myself  uncomfort 
able. 

(Goes  back  to  her  table.) 

YOUTH 
Have  you  ever  tried  putting  pebbles  in  your  shoes? 

(To  EXPERIENCE — ingenuously.) 
Isn't  she  great? 

PLEASURE 

(to  YOUTH) 
And  this,  my  dear  Youth,  is  my  friend,  Blueblood. 

YOUTH 
Pleased  to  know  you. 

BLUEBLOOD 

Of  course  you  have  a  pedigree? 


38  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
Have  I? 

EXPERIENCE 

If  you  haven't  you  can  buy  one. 

BLUEBLOOD 

You  see.  my  people  came  over  here  with  the  Pilgrim  Fathers. 
One  of  my  ancestors  was  the  first  to  put  his  foot  on 
Plymouth  Rock. 

YOUTH 

Is  that  so !  Well,  four  of  my  ancestors  carried  the  Rock 
into  Plymouth  and  put  it  where  your  ancestor  could  step 
on  it — so  you  see,  we  must  be  related  through  our  an 
cestors. 

(To  EXPERIENCE.) 

Was  that  all  right? 

EXPERIENCE 

Yes,  but  our  friend  Blueblood  doesn't  understand.  He's 
using  some  of  the  Rock  for  his  head. 

'PLEASURE 

(offering  YOUTH  a  wine  glass — tempt  ngly) 
A  glass  of  wine,  Youth! 

YOUTH 

Wine! 

(Looks   at    it — wavers. — draws   nearer — then   goes   back 
to  EXPERIENCE.) 
What  do  you  say,  Experience  ? 

EXPERIENCE 

You  are  Youth!  and  temptation  is  ever  at  your  elbow. 


EXPERIENCE  9 

YOUTH 
Temptation — nonsense!     I'm  thirsty,  that's  all. 

(Takes  wine  glass  from  PLEASURE — tastes  it.) 
Great! 

PLEASURE 

Drink  it,  Youth — you'll  like  it. 

YOUTH 

(drinks  wine) 

Pine!     This  is  the  stuff  they  write  songs  about,  isn't  it? — 
you  know,  "Oh,  sparkling  wine — divine!" 

(Laughs.) 

That's  easy  to  understand  because  it  tastes  just  like  liquid 
music.    May  I  have  another  glass? 

PLEASURE 

Certainly. 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 

Isn't  it  beyond  words  how  that  stufPtakes  hold  of  you  and 
makes  you  want  to  sing  and  dance  and  laugh  ? 

EXPERIENCE 

Yes,  and  there's  a  lot  of  laughter  going  on  in  hell  right  now, 
my  boy! 

YOUTH 
Oh,  tush! 

PLEASURE 

(offering  wine) 
Here,  Youth \    Drink  deep! 

YOUTH 
(taking  glass) 
You're  mighty  sweet  and  good  to  me,  Pleasure. 


40  EXPERIENCE 

(Drinks.) 

The  poets  have  made  no  false  statements — this  is  the  real 
thing. 

(Drinks.) 

It's  an  awful  hit  with  me — I'm  going  to  be  crazy  about  this 
stuff. 

STYLE 

(to  PLEASURE) 
Pardon  me!     I'd  like  to  speak  to  Youth. 

PLEASURE 
(to  YOUTH) 
Oh,  Youth!     I  want  you  to  meet  my  friend,  Style! 

YOUTH 
How  do  you  do,  Style! 

STYLE 

Hello!  Prrdon  me,  but  your  necktie!  It's  just  a  sixteenth 
of  an  inch  too  narrow! 

YOUTH 

Oh !  is  that  so ! 

STYLE 

And  your  coat — at  the  waist  line — a  little  loose — just  a 
trifle ! — The  trousers  too  long — notice  mine !  And  they're 
not  wearing  that  style  of  collar. 

YOUTH 

Gee  whiz!  is  that  so! 

STYLE 

(gives'  card) 

My  card — I'll  call  for  you  to-morrow — take  you  to  my 
tailor's. 


EXPERIENCE  4\ 

YOUTH 

(giving  his  card) 
Will  you,  really!    That's  good  of  you,  old  top! 

STYLE 

You  must  pay  more  for  your  clothes — see  you  to-morrow. 

YOUTH 

(to  PLEASURE) 
Important,  isn't  he  ? 

PLEASURE 

Style  is  always  important  with  us,  my  dear  Youth!  Comet 
you  must  meet  all  my  friends. 

(They  go  to  table  at  Left  where  EXCITEMENT  and 
TRAVEL  are  sitting — PLEASURE  introduces  YOUTH  in 
pantomime.) 

EXPERIENCE 

(to  FRIVOLITY) 
You  look  tired,  Frivolity — what's  the  matter? 

FRIVOLITY 

I'm  not  tired — I'm  worried — I  don't  get  enough  dancing — » 
the  daylight  arrives  so  early — it  certainly  does  interfere 
with  my  night  life.  Now  look  at  Conceit — he  never 
worries  about  anything. 

CONCEIT 

Why  should  I?  I  am  handsome  and  rich.  I  have  the  most 
perfect  manners — the  women  adore  me — I  know  every 
thing  there  is  to  know — I  am  Nature's  most  perfect  speci 
men. 

EXPERIENCE 

You  should  worry,  indeed! 

(EXPERIENCE  talks  to  SLANDER  and  SNOB  at  Right.   As 


42  EXPERIENCE 

PLEASURE  and  YOUTH  turn  from  the  table  where  they 
have  been  talking  in  pantomime  with  EXCITEMENT  and 
TRAVEL,  SNOB  goes  to  them.) 

PLEASURE 

Oh,  Snob — just  a  moment — I  want  you  to  meet  my  friend, 
Youth. 

YOUTH 

(warmly) 
Glad  to  know  you! 

(EXPERIENCE  goes  to  YOUTH.) 

SNOB 

(coldly) 
How  do  you  do! 

(To  PLEASURE.) 
In  our  set — permanently? 

PLEASURE 

I  hope  so. 

SNOB 

Family  or  money? 

PLEASURE 
A  little  of  both. 

YOUTH 

What  does  he  mean? 

SNOB 

I  shall  have  to  reserve  my  consideration  until  I  am  com 
pletely  satisfied  he  is  eligible. 

(Looks  at  YOUTH  coldly  and  walks  away.) 

YOUTH 

(hotly) 

Well,  the  nerve  of  that  shrimp — if  I  had  him  outside  I'd 
punch  his  head  off. 


EXPERIENCE  43 

EXPERIENCE 

Easy,  Youth,  easy!     In  the  Primrose  Path  a  shrimp  of  that 
kind  is  considered  a  delicacy. 

(PLEASURE  in  the  meantime  has  gone  up  to  table  at  Left 
and  brings  PRIDE  down  with  her.) 

PLEASURE 

Pride — let  me  present  Youth! 

YOUTH 
Charmed,  I'm  sure. 

(PLEASURE  goes  to  table  at  Left.) 

PRIDE 

(with  her  head  high  in  the  air) 
Thank  you! 

(Goes  back  haughtily  to  her  table.) 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
She's  somewhat  impressed  with  herself,  isn't  she? 

EXPERIENCE 

Pride  walks  in  majesty  but  she's  been  known  to  stub  her  tOC. 

PLEASURE 

(who  has  brought  BEAUTY  forward) 
Beauty,  dear,  you  must  know  my  friend,  Youth  I1 

BEAUTY 
(smiling) 
We  should  be  good  friends. 

YOUTH 
(smiling) 
Of  course  we  should! 

(To  EIPERIBNCB) 
Isn't  she  lovely? 


44  EXPERIENCE 

(DECEIT  steps  in  between  YOUTH  and  BEAUTY.) 

DECEIT 

(to  BEAUTY) 

How  charming  you  look  to-day,  Beauty!     Your  eyes  are 
wonderful  and  your  cheeks  like  roses! 

BEAUTY 
(demurely) 
Oh,  thank  you,  Deceit. 

DECEIT 

(to  YOUTH) 

Look  closely — there  are  crowsfeet  about  her  eyes — and  the 
roses  in  her  cheeks  are  from  the  drug-store. 
(Laughs  and  goes  to  her  table.) 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
Who  is  she? 

EXPERIENCE 

Deceit — strange  you've  never  met  her  before. 

(PLEASURE  brings  SLANDER  down  to  YOUTH.) 

PLEASURE 

Slander — this  is  Youth.     I  don't  know  whether  he'll  listen 
to  you  or  not. 

(SLANDER  takes  YOUTH  aside.) 

SLANDER 

Pardon  me,  Youth,  but  I  noticed  you  talking  with  Beauty. 
Now  don't  say  I  told  you,  but  don't  you  think  it  strange ! 
— she  was  seen  at  a  road-house  dining  with  a  married 
man — don't  say  I  told  you! 
(Holds  up  her  finger  warningly  and  walks  away.) 


EXPERIENCE  45 

YOUTH 

(goes  to  EXPERIENCE) 

I  don't  believe  it — did  you  hear  what  that  woman  said  about 
Beauty? 

EXPERIENCE 

The  wise  man  is  deaf  when  Slander  talks. 

YOUTH 
Who  is  she? 

EXPERIENCE 

She  is  the  snake  in  Society's  garden  and  her  poison  fangs  are 
forever  fatal  to  the  innocent. 

(He  turns  and  finds  YOUTH  with  bowed  head  looking  at 
the  ring  on  his  little  finger.} 

But  come,  my  boy,  you  are  letting  Beauty  stand  there  neglect 
ed.  What's  the  matter? 

YOUTH 

I  was  wondering  if  it's  all  worth  while.  You  see,  Experi 
ence,  there  is  so  much  evil  interwoven  with  the  good  that 
I'm  confused.  And  when  I  looked  at  this  ring  I  thought 
of  one  who 

(The  dance  music  starts — BEAUTY  calls  YOUTH  and  they 
dance.  Omnes  dance  as  before.  EXPERIENCE  and  PLEAS 
URE  dance  together,  and  finally  all  dance  off  the  scene. 
PLEASURE  returns  immediately  and  sits  smiling  at  R. 
WEALTH  walks  in  and  stands  looking  gloomily  at  PLEAS 
URE.  She  turns  presently  and  sees  him.) 

PLEASURE 

(going  to'  WEALTH) 
Wealth — where  have  you  been  all  the  evening? 

WEALTH 

I've  been  in  the  background.  Say,  Pleasure,  what's  the  mat 
ter  with  you  lately  ? 


46  EXPERIENCE 

PLEASURE 

I  don't  know,  Wealth — I  answer  your  every  call  very 
promptly. 

WEALTH 

No,  no,  it  isn't  that.  There's  something  wrong.  I  look  at 
you  and  you  seem  to  be  there  but  when  I  take  you  in  my 
arms  you're  a  shadow — a  shadow.  The  Primrose  Path 
is  there — the  Path  I've  walked  for  years — do  you  think 
it's  the  same  path? 

PLEASURE 

Certainly,  Wealth. 

WEALTH 

Well,  it  isn't — not  to  me.  I  used  to  walk  there  on  the  petals 
of  rare  orchids — now  I  feel  flinty  rocks  beneath  my  feet 
— and  those  flowers,  they're  withering — fading — day  by 
day  I've  watched  them  fade.  I've  poured  gold — molten 
gold  around  their  roots  but  they  keep  on  fading — I  won 
der  what  is  the  matter  with  me? 

(WEALTH  sits  despondently  at  Right.  The  dance  music 
swells  and  YOUTH  dances  on  and  into  the  scenet,  followed 
by  EXPERIENCE — they  dance  about  gayly.} 

YOUTH 

(to  PLEASURE) 
Everything  you  promised  me  is  here — it's  wonderful ! 

EXPERIENCE 

Youth,  I  want  you  to  meet  my  friend,  Wealth! 

YOUTH 

(shaking  hands  with  WEALTH) 
Glad  to  know  you ! 

WEALTH 

Oh !    Yes,  yes,  of  course ;  I  was 

(YouTH  leaves  him — goes  to  PLEASURE) 


EXPERIENCE  47 

Come  back,  Youth !  Now  I  know — I  understand — it  was 
with  the  feet  of  youth  I  walked  on  the  petals  of  rare 
orchids — it  was  through  the  eyes  of  youth  I  saw  the 
flowers  bloom — it  was  with  the  arms  of  youth  I  found 
Pleasure  a  substance — I  want  to  be  like  him  again — I 
want  youth — I'll  give  all  I  have  for  one  hour  of  youth's 
enthusiasm.  Tell  me,  Experience,  tell  rne,  can  it  be 
done? 

EXPERIENCE 

Can  you,  with  your  money,  pick  one  star  from  the  canopy  of 
Heaven  and  set  it  in  some  new  position? 

WEALTH 

No,  no! 

EXPERIENCE 

Can  you,  with  the  power  of  your  gold,  stop  the  flight  of  the 
world  and  roll  it  backward,  backward? 

WEALTH 

No,  no! 

EXPERIENCE 

Then  these  two  tasks  are  easier  far  than  to  bring  back  for 
even  an  hour  your  squandered  youth ! 

(WEALTH  drops  despondently  in  a  bench  at  Right — sits  with 
bowed  head.  AMBITION  appears  suddenly  up  stage  at 
Left — he  is  listless  and  speaks  with  a  weak  voice.) 

AMBITION 

(  weakly  ) 
Youth! 

EXPERIENCE 

(seeing  him — goes  quickly  to 
He's  calling  you ! 

YOUTH 

Who's  calling  me? 


48  EXPERIENCE 

EXPERIENCE 

Listen,  don't  you  hear  him? 

AMBITION 
(  weakly  ) 
Youth! 

YOUTH 

I  don't  hear  anything. 

(To  PLEASURE — eagerly.) 

Tell  me  again  about  the  wonderful  delights  in  store  for  me. 
(AMBITION,  with  bowed  head  and  faltering  feet,  walks  off 
slowly.) 

PLEASURE 

In  my  domain  delights  must  come  unheralded — for  Surprise 
is  Pleasure's  dearest  friend. 

(  There  is  a  subdued  commotion  and  aroans  are  heard  off 
at  Left.) 
What's  the  matter? 

EXPERIENCE 

I'll  see! 

(EXPERIENCE  hurries  off  at  Left.) 

YOUTH 

He's  a  great  companion — Experience! — I've  enjoyed  every 
minute  I've  been  with  him — and  I  need  him. 

WEALTH 
{looking  up) 

Listen  to  all  he  tries  to  teach  you  for  the  price  he  charges  is 
a  heavy  one. 

(EXPERIENCE  returns.) 

PLEASURE 

What  was  the  matter? 

EXPERIENCE 

Ambition  is  dead. 


EXPERIENCE  49 

YOUTH 
(lightly) 
Oh !  is  that  so  ? — too  bad ! 

(Raises  wine  glass.) 

To   Pleasure — for  every  bubble  whispers  your  name  as  it 
expires. 

EXPERIENCE 

(raising  glass) 
To  Pleasure! 

(The  three  drink  and  laugh.) 

PLEASURE 

Why  are  you  so  gloomy,  Wealth? 

WEALTH 
(rising) 

Ghosts — ghosts — all  around  me — ghosts!     The  ghost  of  my 
own  youth — the  ghost  of  Ambition — I'm  getting  old — 

that's  it!     And  my  money 

(laughs) 

— my  money  can't  down  the  ghosts  of  the  things  that 
should  have  been. 

EXPERIENCE 

Brace  up,  old  boy — you're  getting  fanciful! 

(INTOXICATION,  a  girl,  enters — she  is  wild-eyed — her  hair 
is  touseled  and  she  is  smiling  inanely.) 

INTOXICATION 

Hello,  all  of  you,  whoever  you  are — whee!  I'm  having  the 
time  of  my  life! 

EXPERIENCE 
(greeting  her) 

Intoxication — glad  to  see  you,  old  girl!     You  arrived  at  the 
right  moment.     Pleasure  was  becoming  just  a  bit  j 
I  want  to  present  my  friend,  Youth! 


50  EXPERIENCE 

INTOXICATION 

Pleased  to  meet  you ! 

YOUTH 

I'm  glad  to  see  you — I  iffce  your  style — if  you're  a  friend  of 
my  friend,  Experience,  I'm  going  to  like  you — sit  down 
here  with  me! 

(YouTH  and  INTOXICATION  sit  at  table.) 

EXPERIENCE 

Come  over  here,  Wealth,  and  join  us.  Here's  a  lady  who 
can  drive  those  ghosts  of  yours  away. 

WEALTH 

Who's  that?  Oh!  Intoxication — I  know  her  well.  I've 
known  her  ever  since  I  was  that  high.  She's  all  right  at 
night  but  she's  damned  poor  company  in  the  morning. 

(WEALTH  sits  at  table  with  YOUTH  and  INTOXICATION— 
O nines  d-'mk  wine.) 

EXPERIENCE 

Come  on,  pour  out  some  more  of  that  stuff  that  made  Omar 
Khayaam  a  poet. 

INTOXICATION 

Sure,  boys,  turn  the  grape  loose — turn  it  loose. 


YOUTH 

(to  PLEASURE,  who  is  standing  near  him) 
Say!  this  is  life,  isn't  it,  eh? 

PLEASURE 
It's  my  life. 


EXPERIENCE 

(raising  glass) 

Here's  t«  t«-night!    To-morrow  hasn't  happened  yet. 
\Omnes  drink  and  laugh — all  show  the  effects  if 
sir?      INTOXICATION  joined  them.) 


EXPERIENCE  51 

WEALTH 

That's  right — to-morrow  hasn't  happened  yet 

(Drinks.) 

That's  the  philosophy  for  me! 

(Gets  up — shows  effects  of  liquor.) 

You're   a  fine  girl,   Intoxication — you  chase  all   the   ghosts 
away — you  sure  do! 

(Begins  to  throw  money  away.) 

Open  more  wine — a  lot  of  it — enough  to  drown  all  the  ghosts 
in  the  world. 

YOUTH 

(imitating  WEALTH — throws  his  money  away) 
That's  the   idea — wine — women — song — old   Wealth   is   all 
right,  isn't  he?     I  want  to  do  just  like  he  does. 

(Throws  money  away.) 

INTOXICATION 
(pulling  him  to  table) 
Sit  down  with  me — your  wine's  getting  warm. 

WEALTH 

Come  on.  Pleasure — I'm  my  old  self  again!    Let*?  go  gliding 
down  the  Primrose  Path! 

PLEASURE 

I'm  right  with  you,  Wealth — away  we  go ! 

(Loud  music — WEALTH  and  PLEASURE  dance  %ff.  EX 
PERIENCE,  INTOXICATION  and  YOUTH  at  the  table-* 
drinking.) 

INTOXICATION 

(to  YOUTH) 
Are  you  with  me? 


52  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

I'm  with  you,  all  right!     I'm  going  to  devote  myself  exclu 
sively  to  you! 

(Drinks.) 

INTOXICATION 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 

How  about  you — you  don't  seem  to  reflect  my  genial  pres 
ence  as  much  as  he  does. 

EXPERIENCE 

No ;  I've  met  you  oftener — you  see,  you're  a  stranger  to  him. 

(PASSION,  a  very  beautiful  and  alluring  creature,  enters 
through  the  archway  and  glides  down  stage  in  a  snake- 
like  manner — she  stands  gazing  at  YOUTH — he  looks  up 
presently  and  sees  her.) 

YOUTH 

Look!  look!  who  is  she? 

EXPERIENCE 

Passion ! 

(To  PASSION.) 
What  do  you  want? 

PASSION 
I  want  him! 

(Her  eyes  fixed  on  YOUTH.) 

YOUTH 

Look  at  her  eyes — look!     Good  God!   can     you  see — she 
wants  me,  I  tell  you. 


EXPERIENCE  53 

(To  INTOXICATION.) 
Take  your  hands  off  me — you're  holding  me  back. 

PASSION 

(gazing  at  YOUTH) 
Youth,  I  want  you,  with  all  my  burning  heart,  I  want  youl 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
Tell  me,  tell  me — who  is  she? 

EXPERIENCE 

She  is   Passion — the  High   Commissioner  from  his  Satanic 

Majesty. 

PASSION 

Come  to  me,  Youth — my  arms  are  aching  to  enfold  you. 

YOUTH 
Listen!  there's  music  all  about  her — don't  you  hear  it? 

EXPERIENCE 

Yes,  the  poisonous  melody  that  the  siren  serpent  uses  in.  her 
dance  of  death. 

PASSION 

Oh,  Youth,  Youth,  my  very  soul  is  on  fire — and  I  want  to 
smother  you  in  the  flames  of  joy. 

YOUTH 

She's  calling  me — and  I  want  her. 

(To  INTOXICATION.) 
Take  your  damned  hands  off  me! 


54  EXPERIENCE 

(He  struggles  away  from    INTOXICATION,    who    follows 
him — he  staggers  to  PASSION.) 

I  must  have  her — she  was  meant  for  me  since  the  beginning 
of  the  world 

(PASSION  grabs  his  right  hand — the  one  on  which  is  the 
ring — and  starts  to  kiss  it — as  she  does  so  she  speaks.) 

PASSION 

I  love  you,  Youth  1 

YOUTH     . 

(takes  his  hand  away  from  her  mouth — looks  drunkenly  at 
the  ring) 

Love!  Love!  Wait  a  minute!  She  put  that  ring  there  to 
keep  evil  away. — Wait  a  minute! — there's  'something 
wrong — somebody  is  trying  to  whisper  to  me — wait,  wait 
— it's  far  away — there's  a  lane — a  country  lane — and 
she's  standing  there — waiting — yes,  yes,  she's  crying — I 
don't  want  to  see  her  cry. 

(To  INTOXICATION.) 
I'm  going  with  you,  understand — going  with  you 

(INTOXICATION  helps  him  back  to  the  table — both  drop  in 
chairs. ) 

Help  me,  will  you? — Help  me  to  stop  seeing  her  cry. — I 
don't  want  to  see  her  cry — hurts  me  in  my  heart 

(To  INTOXICATION.) 

Put  your  hand  in  front  of  my  eyes  so  I  can't  see  that  other 
woman — can't  see — she's  crying — hurts — other  woman — 
can't 

(Drops  his  head  drunkenly  on  table.    INTOXICATION  dropf 
hers  at  the  same  time.) 


EXPERIENCE  55 

PASSION 
(intensely} 

Let  him  go  to  his  drunken  sleep  and  may  every  curse  that 
mj  burning  body  can  suggest  follow  him  through  tb£ 
dark  corridors  of  his  dreams — bah !  he  isn't  worth  while. 

EXPERIENCE 

He  is  worth  while,  because  he  had  the  courage  to  resist  the 
queen  regent  of  Hell.  Of  two  evils  he  has  chosen — the 
lesser ! 

THE  END  OF  THE   EPISODF. 

INTERVAL. 


THE   FOURTH  EPISODE. 


IN   THE   CORRIDORS   OF   CHANCE. 

DESCRIPTION:  A  room  in  a  modern  Gambling  Palace. 
Doors  at  Right  and  at  Left.  Through 
an  archway  in  back  is  seen  part  of  another 
room  where  men  and  women  are  gam 
bling.  A  roulette  table  in  the  Center  of 
the  stage  with  the  wheel  in  the  middle 
of  the  table  and  the  lay-out  of  numbers  on 
each  side  of  the  wheel.  The  furnishings 
and  furniture  are  rich  and  in  good  taste. 

DISCOVERED:  When  curtain  ryes  there  are  two  "dealers" 
at  the  roulette  table  in  C. — one  at  Right 
of  the  wheel — the  other  at  the  Left. 
There  are  eight  characters  at  the  table, 
as  follows:  At  the  end  of  the  table  at 
stage  Left  is  DESPAIR,  pale-faced  and 
with  disordered  hair.  He  is  playing  des 
perately  and  losing.  Between  DESPAIR 
and  the  DEALER,  facing  the  audience,  is 
STUPID,  red-faced  and  drunk,  scattering 
his  bets  aimlessly  and  winning.  Two 
other  men  are  at  the  Left  end  of  the  table 
with  their  backs  to  the  audience.  These 
are  SYSTEM  and  SUPERSTITION,  playing 
with  characteristic  actions.  At  the  Right 
end  of  the  table  is  VENTURE,  and  stand 
ing  near  him  is  CAUTION,  who  is  nervous 
and  anxiour.  Between  VENTURE  and 
the  DEALER  AT  RIGHT  is  GOOD  NATURE, 
losing  and  laughing.  At  the  Right  end 
of  the  table  with  their  backs  to  the  audi 
ence  are  two  college  boys,  CARELESS  and 
(56) 


EXPERIENCE  57 

THOUGHTLESS.  CHANCE,  the  proprie 
tor,  moves  about  from  one  room  to  the 
other.  The  waiter,  a  mulatto,  in  Tux 
edo,  moves  about,  bringing  drinks,  etc.- 
Through  the  archway  in  another  room 
men  and  women  may  be  seen,  gambling 
feverishly  over  another  table. 

(As  the  Curtain  rises  the  DEALER  AT  RIGHT  is  just  call 
ing  the  number.} 

DEALER   AT   RIGHT 

Seventeen — black  in  the  odd — middle  colmun — second  dozen ! 

(DEALER  AT  RIGHT  pays  VENTURE.  GOOD  NATURE  loses, 

with  a  laugh.    CARELESS  and  THOUGHTLESS  lose.  DEAL- 

AT  LEFT  pays  STUPID  and  SUPERSTITION.    DESPAIR  and 

SYSTEM  lose.) 

GOOD  NATURE 
Stung  again ! 

(Laughs  and  looks  over  his  checks — proceeds  to  bet  again.) 

DEALER  AT  LEFT 

Make  your  bets,  gentlemen! 

CAUTION 

We've  won  enough  now,  Venture ;  come  on,  let's  go  home ! 

VENTURE 

Just  one  more  bet,  Caution — this  is  the  last — honestly! 
(Places  checks.) 

SYSTEM 

(looking  at  small  book  which  he  takes  from  his  pocket) 
According  to  my  system,  red  should  have  won  that  time — 
can't  understand  it. 

STUPID 
(drunkenly^ 
That's  the  idea — set  anH  cop ! 


5te  EXPEDIENCE 

(To  DESPAIR.) 

What's  the  matter  with  you,  Despair?    You  haven't  won  a 
nickle  since  you  sat  in — look  at  me — I  just  spread  'em  all 
around  and  set  and  cop — that's  me — set  and  cop ! 
(Spreads  more  checks.} 

DESPAIR 

It's  hopeless — I  know  it — and  I  want  to  win — God!  how  I 
want  to  win! 

(Places  another  bet.    DEALER  spins  the  ball — all  watch  it 
intently  till  it  drops  in  a  number.) 

DEALER  AT   RIGHT 

(calling) 

Sixteen — red  in  the  even — first  column — second  dozen! 
(Both  dealers  take  in  losing  checks.     DESPAIR,  SYSTEM, 
GOOD  NATURE,  THOUGHTLESS  and    CARELESS    lose — 
others  win.) 

GOOD   NATURE 

(laughing) 
Blast  me  if  I  didn't  lose  again — ha,  ha,  ha,  ha! 

DESPAIR 

Oh,  why,  why,  can't  it  break  for  me — just  once! 

STUPID 

(drunkenly) 

It  don't  break  for  you,  Despair,  because  you  don't  under 
stand  the  game — you  gotta  play  it  blind — see! — get  full 
of  booze — and  then  you  don't  care  whether  you  win  or 
lose  and  you  just  set  and  cop.  Fortune  loves  a  drunken 
man — get  me,  Despair! — Come  on,  let's  tease  a  highball' 
— what  d'ye  say,  Despair?  Get  some  benzine  under  your 
belt  and  set  and  cop! 

DESPAIR 

N*>  no,  Stupid — I  don't  want  to  drink — I  want  to  win — just 
a  little — I  must  win ! 


EXPERIENCE  59 

DEALER  AT  LEFT 

Make  your  bets,  gentlemen ! 

CAUTION 

You'd  better  stop  now,  Venture — you've  won  enough;  let's 
go  home. 

VENTURE 

This  one  is  the  last — on  the  level  it  is,  Caution! 

(VENTURE  places  a  bet.  The  DEALER  spins  the  ball — all 
watch  intently  until  it  stops.) 

DEALER  AT  RIGHT 

(  calling  ) 
Thirty-six  in  the  Red. 

(VENTURE  loses  and  CAUTION  is  very  much  upset.  SU 
PERSTITION  loses.  SYSTEM  wins  and  is  elated.  THOUGHT 
LESS  and  CARELESS  win  and  make  a  fuss  about  it.  GOOD 
NATURE  wins.  STUPID  wins.  DESPAIR  wins.) 

CAUTION 

(to  VENTURE) 

See,  you've  lost!     I  told  you  not  to  play  any  more. — Come 
now,  you  must  cash  in — we're  going  home. 
(YouTH   and  EXPERIENCE   enter  in   back   and  are  seen 
watching  the  play  at  the  table  in  the  other  room.) 

VENTURE 

Oh !  all  right ;  but  I'll  win  the  next  time. 

(VENTURE  tf  cashes  in"  and  when  he  gets  his  money  CAU 
TION  takes  him  by  the  arm  and  they  go  out.) 

SYSTEM 
(elated) 

I  knew  my  system  couldn't  fail. — Do  you  see,  Superstition, 
do  you  see,  I've  won ! 


60  EXPERIENCE 

SUPERSTITION 

Yes,  System,  you've  won  two  bets  out  of  twenty — and  you 
made  me  lose  that  last  one! 

SYSTEM 

Why,  Superstition,  how  did  I  make  you  lose? 

SUPERSTITION 

Because  you  touched  my  arm  just  as  I  was  going  to  bet. 
Keep  away  from  me! 

STUPID 
(drunkenty) 

What's  the  matter  with  you,  Despair? — You  won  that,  didn't 
you  ? — Didn't  you  set  and  cop  ? 

DESPAIR 

I  won  that,  yes!  when  I  had  but  a  few  checks  left — I  lose 
so  much  and  win  so  little. 

STUPID 

Oh,  that's  all  right — get  a  good,  fancy  little  bun  on  you  and 
you'll  set  and  cop  every  time — see !  look  at  me ! — Fortune 
loves  a  drunken  man! 

DEALER  AT  LEFT 

Make  your  bets,  gentlemen! 

(Enter  YOUTH  and  EXPERIENCE — CHANCE  meets  them — 
the  waiter  takes  their  hats  and  overcoats.} 

CHANCE 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
How  do  you  do  ?    Glad  to  see  you ! 

(They  shake  hands.} 

EXPERIENCE 

Chance,  I'm  pleased  to  see  you  again.  Youth!  this  is  the 
party  you  wanted  to  meet — my  friend,  Chance! 


EXPERIENCE  61 

YOUTH 

(shaking  hands) 

That's  right;  I  came  out  looking  for  you  to-night.  You 
know  I've  spent  a  lot  of  money  in  the  Primrose  Path  so 
I  thought  I'd  drop  in  here  and  get  some  of  it  back — you 
don't  mind,  do  you? 

CHANCE 

This  is  the  place  to  get  it,  Youth.    Go  as  far  as  you  like. 
(In  the  meantime,  those  at  the  table  have  placed  their  bets 
and  the  ball  is    spinning.      YOUTH,    EXPERIENCE    and 
CHANCE  look  on.) 

DEALER   AT   RIGHT 

(when  ball  stops) 
Thirty-three  in  the  Black! 

(STUPID  wins — SUPERSTITION  wins — GOOD  NATURE 
loses — DESPAIR  loses — SYSTEM  loses — CARELESS  and 
THOUGHTLESS  lose.) 

GOOD   NATURE 

String  me  high  if  I  didn't  miss  it  again ! 
( Laugh  s. ) 

STUPID 

(gathering  his  checks  together  drunkenly) 
Set  and  cop,  eh? 

(Laughs. ) 

I'm  going  to  have  a  little  mercy — that's  what  I'm  going  to 
do — have  a  little  mercy! — I  ain't  going  to  win  all  the 
money  in  the  world  and  put  this  place  on  the  bum — 
here!  I'm  cashin'  in — see!  gi'me  a  lot  of  money! 

(To  DESPAIR.) 

You  see !  you  poor  old  boob — you,  Despair — you  see ! — if  you 
had  a  skin-full  of  red-eye  you'd  set  and  cop,  understand  ? 

(Gets  his  money.) 
I'm  going  to  beat  it  now  and  open  a  new  bank  of  England. 


62  EXPERIENCE 

(Sees  CHANCE.) 

Much  obliged,  old  friend  Chance!  I'm  taking  away  a  fat 
little  bundle  of  your  gate  receipts,  but  you  don't  care,  do 
you  ?  Good-night,  everybody ! 

(Laughs.) 
Say!  Fortune  loves  a  drunken  man,  eh? 

(Exits  through  archway.     CHANCE  follows  and  is  seen 
x  talking  to  STUPID  near  the  other  table.    Presently  STUPID 
sits  at  the  table  in  the  other  room  and  CHANCE  returns 
to  front  room.) 

DEALER  AT  LEFT 

Make  your  bets,  gentlemen ! 

YOUTH 

(as  STUPID  goes  out) 
That  fellow  is  lucky — I'm  going  to  take  his  seat. 

(YouTH  sits  in  the  chair  which  STUPID  has  just  vacated. 
He  takes  out  a  roll  of  money — gives  it  to  the  DEALER.) 
There's  my  entire  bank  roll — give  me  some  checks,  please! 

(Turns  to  EXPERIENCE,  who  stands  behind  him.) 
Watch  me!     I  feel  that  I'm  going  to  win  a  lot  of  money. 

EXPERIENCE 

You're  very  foolish  to  feel  that  way  in  a  gambling  house. 
(  The  ball  spins  and  when  it  drops  the  DEALER  calls  the 
number.) 

DEALER  AT  RIGHT 

Nine  in  the  Red! 

(YouTH  wins — all  the  others  lose.) 

YOUTH 

(elated — to  EXPERIENCE) 

Did  you  see  that? — I  won  the  very  first  bet!  I'll  be  on 
Easy  Street  in  a  few  minutes. 


EXPERIENCE  63 

EXPERIENCE 

It  takes  more  than  a  few  minutes  to  get  to  Easy  Street 
The  railroad  service  is  very  poor. 

SUPERSTITION 

(to  DEALER) 

Cash  those  for  me!     I'm  through.     I  hate  to  sit  next  t«  a 
I    jinx. 

SYSTEM 

(looking  at  his  book) 

That's  the  fourth  time  to-night  that  number  came  up — I 
don't  understand  it! 

SUPERSTITION 

(to  SYSTEM) 
You  made  me  lose  that  last  bet. 

SYSTEM 

I  did!    How? 

SUPERSTITION 

Why,  you  put  your  foot  on  my  chair  and  I  lose  200  cold — 
that's  what  you  did — put  your  foot  on  my  chair. 
(Takes  his  money  and  goes.     The  ball  rolls  again  and  the 
DEALER  calls  the  number  when  it  stops.) 

DEALER  AT   RIGHT 

Twenty-seven  in  the  Red. 

(YOUTH  wins — the  others  lose.) 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
See!    What  did  I  tell  you?    This  a  lucky  night  for  me. 

EXPERIENCE 

All  right;  if  you  feel  that  way  just  close  your  eyes  and  pray 
for  daylight. 


64  EXPERIENCE 

(CHANCE  is  standing  near  the  two  college  boys,  CARELESS 
and  THOUGHTLESS,  watching  them.) 

CARELESS 

I'm  through,  Thoughtless — that's  my  last  stack! 

THOUGHTLESS 

Same  here — Gee  whiz!  what  a  run  of  bad  luck.     I'm  put 
fifteen  dollars ! 

CARELESS 

I  only  had  ten  to  start  with — now  I  haven't  even  carfare. 

THOUGHTLESS 

Gee !  and  it's  a  long  walk  home. 

(CHANCE  takes  a  blue  chip  from  his  pocket — deliberately 
drops  it  on  the  floor — then  stoops  and  picks  it  up.) 

CHANCE 

(to  CARELESS) 
Pardon  me,  but  you  dropped  a  blue  check. 

CARELESS 

Oh !  is  that  so !  •  Gee !  that's  lucky ! 

(To  DEALER.) 
Cash  that,  will  you! 

(The  DEALER  does  so.) 
Come  on,  Thoughtless,  we  won't  have  to  walk  home. 

THOUGHTLESS 

Say!    Careless,   that's  the  luckiest  play  you  made  to-night 
when  you  dropped  that  chip  on  the  floor. 
(CARELESS  and  THOUGHTLESS  exeunt  through  archway 
find  off — CHANCE  watches  them  with  an  amused  smile.) 

DEALER  AT  LEFT 

Make  your  bets,  gentlemen ! 

(Ball  spins  again  and  DEALER  calls  it  when  it  stops.) 


EXPERIENCE  65 

DEALER  AT  RIGHT 

Nine  m  the  Red! 

(YCUTH  and  GOOD  NATURE  win — DESPAIR  and  SYSTEM 
lose.) 

YOUTH 

(excitedly,  to  EXPERIENCE) 
There  it  is  again,  see !    Why,  nothing  can  stop  me — nothing. 

EXPERIENCE 

Nothing — except  possibly  a  losing  streak. 

GOOD   NATURE 

(laughs) 

Every  time  I  win  I  bet  five— every  time  I  lose  I  bet  a  hun 
dred — luck  certanly  is  funny ! 
(Laughs.) 

SYSTEM 

(getting  up) 

According  to  my  book  black  should  have  won.     Can't  under 
stand  it. 
(SYSTEM  starts  for  the  other  room — CHANCE  stops  him.) 

CHANCE 

Any  luck  to-night,  System? 

i 

SYSTEM 

No,  none  at  all.     I  played  my  little  book  and  lose  a  thousand. 
(Hurries  out  through  archway  and  off.    In  the  meantime, 
the  ball  is  rolling  again  and  when  it  stops  the  DEALER 
calls  the  number.} 

DEALER   AT   RIGHT 

Thirty-four  in  the  Red. 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
Say !  how  long  has  thf    been  going  on  here  ?     If  I  had  known 


66  EXPERIENCE 

this  bank  was  open  every  night  I'd  have  been  here  long 
ago. 

EXPERIENCE 

Save  your  praise  of  this  bank  till  you  know  it  better.  This 
is  a  financial  institution  where  they  loan  you  money  with 
a  smile  and  exact  payment  in  blood. 

DESPAIR 
True !  every  word  of  it.     Exact  payment  in  blood — that's  it ! 

YOUTH 

(to  DESPAIR) 

Say,  old  side-partner,  they're  not  breaking  for  you,  are  they? 

DESPAIR 

No;  I've  given  up.     There's  no  hope  for  me. 

YOUTH 
Oh,  yes,  there  is.     What's  your  name? 

DESPAIR 

Despair  is  my  name. 

YOUTH 

Oh !     Well,  I  wouldn't  give  up  yet — try  it  once  more. 

DEALER  AT  LEFT 

Make  your  bets,  gentlemen ! 

DESPAIR 

(hopelessly) 
I  have  to  give  up — I  have  nothing  left. 

YOUTH 
Here!     I'll  let  you  have  a  stack. 

DESPAIR 

No,  no ;  thank  you. 


EXPERIENCE  67 

YOUTH 

Please!  take  it  now  and  bet  as  I  do.  Put  up  the  whole  stack 
— you're  sure  to  win. 

(YouTH  bets  on  a  number — DESPAIR  puts  the  borrowed 
stack  on  the  same  number.  The  DEALER  spins  the  ball 
and  when  It  stops  rolling  calls  the  number.) 

DEALER   AT   RIGHT 

Eight  in  the  Black! 

(YouTH  and  DESPAIR  both  lose.) 

YOUTH 

Gee!  that's  queer.     That's  the  first  time  I've  lost. 

(To  DESPAIR.) 
Come  on,  I'll  stake  you  again. 

DESPAIR 
(getting  up) 

No,  no,  thank  you.    You  have  a  kind  heart — but  I  can't  take 
advantage  of  it.     I'm  gone,  I  tell  you,  gone! 
(DESPAIR  goes  to  big  chair  at  extreme  Left — sits  in  chair 
— buries  his  head  in   his  arms — cries  quietly.     CHANCE 
looks  at  him,  smiling.) 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
He  isn't  a  regular  gambler,  is  he? 

EXPERIENCE 

No,  poor  chap ;  he-  is  one  of  Fortune's  fools.  He  goes  a-woo- 
ing  with  tears  in  his  voice,  and  the  fickle  jade  laughs  at 
him. 

YOUTH 

Well,  I'm  not  going  to  let  her  laugh  at  me.  I'll  double  up 
now  and  get  that  last  bet  back. 

(YouTH  places  his  checks.  The  ball  spins.  The  DEALER 
calls  the  number.) 


68  EXPERIENCE 

DEALER  AT   RIGHT 

Thirty-two  in  the  Red! 

(YOUTH  wins — GOOD  NATURE  loses.) 

YOUTH 

(elated) 

See!  in  the  Red  again!     It's  my  night,  all  right.     Now  I'm 
going  to  make  one  big  bet  and  quit. 

•    EXPERIENCE 

Any  time  you  quit  you're  that  much  ahead  of  the  game. 

YOUTH 

Here  I  go!     I'm  not  playing  any  system  so  it  doesn't  matter. 
I'll  stick  to  the  Red. 

(Puts  up  a  lot  of  chips.     The  ball  spins  and  the  DEALER 
calls  the  number.) 

DEALER   AT   RIGHT 

Thirty-six  in  the  Red ! 

YOUTH 

What  did  I  tell  you? 

EXPERIENCE 

You  told  me  you'd  make  one  big  bet  and  quit. 

YOUTH 

And  quit  is  just  what  I'm  going  to  do. 

(To  DEALER.) 

Give  me  a  whole  lot  of  money  for  these,  will  you,  old  happy- 
face! 

(YouTH  gives  his  checks  to  DEALER  wh*  counts  them 
and  pays  YOUTH.) 

GOOD   NATURE 

(to  the  DEALER  AT 
I'm  through. 

(Gets  up.) 


EXPERIENCE  ,9 

Two  thousand  dollars  at  one  settin', 
(Laughs.} 

THE   WAITER 
(offering  a  platter} 
Sandwiches,  sir! 

GOOD  NATURE 

Oh,  hell !  do  you  think  I  can  get  even  eating  sandwiches  i 
(Laughs. — Exit  GOOD  NATURE.) 

YOUTH 

(getting  up — very  much  elated} 

There's  a  roll  for  you!  All  I  lost  in  the  Primrose  Path — 
see,  I  got  it  back  again  in  fifteen  minutes.  Dame  For 
tune  isn't  so  very  fickle  with  me. 

EXPERIENCE 

Just  give  her  time,  my  boy ;  the.  more  you  learn  to  care  for 
her  the  more  cruelly  she'll  treat  you. 

(EXPERIENCE  walks  over  to  Right  and  goes  in  the  other 
room.  YOUTH  turns,  meets  CHANCE,  who  has  strolled 
over  to  Left  during  the  last  few  bets.} 

YOUTH 

Oh,  there  you  are,  Chance!  See,  I've  made  good — and  let 
me  thank  you  for  your  hospitality. 

CHANCE 

You're  entirely  welcome.  Won't  you  sit  here  and  let  my 
hospitality  take  on  a  new  form — say,  for  instance,  a  bot 
tle  of  wine? 

(YouTH  and  CHANCE  sit  at  small  table  at  Lef.t.  The 
waiter  hovers  near.} 

YOUTH 

Thank  you,  no  wine — seltzer  and  milk,  if  I  may. 

(At  a  sign  from  CHANCE  the  waiter  goes  out.} 


70  EXPERIENCE 

CHANCE 

You've  been  very  lucky  to-night,  Youth.  It  seems  almost  a 
pity  to  end  the  affair  so  tamely. 

YOUTH 

Tamely!     What  do  you  mean? 

CHANCE 

When  Fortune  smiles  so  beguilingly  why  not  accept  the'in 
vitation  for  all  it's  worth — embrace  her,  my  boy;  she'll 
stand  for  it. 

(Waiter  brings  the  drink  and  a  box  of  cigars.) 

YOUTH 

That's  the  way  I  feel  about  it,  but  Experience  tells  me  that 
Fortune  is  not  to  be  depended  upon. 

CHANCE 

Oh,  pshaw!     Experience  gives  everybody  cold  feet. 

YOUTH 

My  regards! 

(Drinks.) 

CHANCE 

Drink  hearty! — Have  a  cigar! 

(YouTH  takes  cigar — lights  it.) 

No  matter  what  your  friend  says  Fortune  is  crazy  about 
you — can't  you  see  it!  Go  on,  set  in  there  again.  Force 
your  luck  while  it's  with  you  and  get  a  roll  that's  worth 
while.  The  sky  is  the  limit  for  you.  Of  course,  I'm 
not  being  very  kind  to  my  own  pocketbook  when  I  talk 
in  this  manner,  but  I  like  to  see  Youth  have  his  fling. 

YOUTH 

Wait  till  I  count  what  I  have.  Maybe  there's  enough  here 
for  my  purposes. 

(YouTH  counts  his  money.    In  the  meantime  EXPERIENCE. 
has  strolled  off  through  the  archway  and,  after  looking 


EXPERIENCE  71 

over  the  other  table,  returns  to  DESPAIR.     EXPERIENCE 
touches  him  on  the  shoulder.    DESPAIR  looks  up.) 

EXPERIENCE 

What's  the  matter,  old  friend? 

DESPAIR 
Nothing. 

EXPERIENCE 

Oh,  yes,  there  is. 

DESPAIR 

To-morrow — to-morrow  was  to  have  been  my  wedding  day. 

EXPERIENCE 

I  understand. 

DESPAIR 

Last  week  I  brought  my  own  money  here — 

EXPERIENCE 

And  left  it  here. 

DESPAIR 

She's  a  very  beautiful  girl — she's  so  beautiful  herself  that 
she  must  have  beautiful  things  about  her — dresses  and 
jewelry  and  all  that — and  I  was  so  sure 

EXPERIENCE 
(interrupting) 

Sure!  Sure  of  what?  In  the  Corridors  of  Chance  the  only 
sure  things  are  the  bewildered  fools  who  send  good  money 
after  bad. 

DESPAIR 

And  to-day  there  was  money  in  front  of  me — it  wasn't  my 
money — but  she  is  so  beautiful  and  I  love  her  sc  much — 
I  took  the  money — now  it's  gone — and  to-morrow — to 
morrow  we  set  for  our  wedding  day. 
(DESPAIR  buries  his  face  in  his  arms  and  cries.  EXPERI 
ENCE  shrugs  his  shoulders  compassionately.) 


EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

(jumping  up  and  going  back  to  the  roulette  table) 
You're  right,  Chance.     Fortune  is  smiling  on  me  to-night  so 
I'll  take  all  she  has  to  offer. 

(To  DEALER — giving  him  the  roll  of  money.) 
Give  me  those  large  checks — yes,  those  with  the  stars  in  them. 
I'm  going  to  court  Fortune  with  every  penny  I  have  in 
the  world. 

EXPERIENCE 

(who  has  strolled  over  to  YOUTH) 
I  thought  you  were  through? 

YOUTH 
I  was  out  Chance  told  me  it  was  all  nonsense  to  stop  so  soon. 

EXPERIENCE 

Of  course  he  did.  If  the  fools  held  on  to  their  own  the 
gamblers  would  starve. 

(YouTH  has  three  stacks — the  chips  representing  all  his 
money.  He  pushes  one  stack  on  a  number.  The  ball 
spins.  When  it  stops  the  DEALER  calls  the  number.) 

DEALER   AT   RIGHT 

Fifteen  in  the  black! 

(The  DEALER  takes  YOUTH'S  checks.) 

YOUTH 
It's  a  good  sign  when  you  lose  the  first  one. 

(Puts  another  stack  on  a  number.) 

I'll  get  it  all  back  this  bet — see  if  I  don't.  I'm  going  after 
this  in  a  big  way.  It's  no  time  to  pike  when  luck  is  with 
you. 

( The  ball  spins.  The  DEALER  calls  the  number  when  if 
stops.) 

DEALER   AT   RIGHT 

Twenty  in  the  black! 

(DEALER  takes  YOUTH'S  checks.) 


EXPERIENCE  73 

YOUTH 

(somewhat  dazed} 

That's  mighty  strange.     Well,  it  simply  must  be  Red  this 
time  so  I'll  put  all  I  have  on  it. 

(Places  his  last  stack.  The  ball  spins  and  the  DEALER 
calls  the  number  when  it  stops.) 

DEALER   AT   RIGHT 

Thirty-five  in  the  black. 

(The   DEALER  takes    YOUTH'S    chips.      YOUTH    hunts 
through  his  pockets  in  an  anxious  manner  for  more  money.) 

YOUTH 

(to  himself) 
What's  the  use  of  looking  when  I  haven't  any  more ! 

(YoUTH  goes  through  his  pockets  carefully.  He  turns 
presently  and  sees  CHANCE  smiling  at  him  in  a  cynical 
manner.} 

CHANCE 

(to  the  DEALER) 
Give  Youth  a  blue  stack. 

(The  DEALER  pushes  a  stack  of  blue  chips  to  YOUTH.) 

YOUTH 

Thank  you,  Chance.  That's  very  kind.  You  are  putting  me 
on  my  feet  again.  This  time  I'll  surely  play  to  win. 
(He  scatters  the  chips  and  places  them  on  various  numbers. 
As  the  ball  starts  to  spin  DESPAIR  walks  slowly  over  and 
watches  the  ball  roll.  When  it  stops  the  DEALER  calls 
the  number.) 

DEALER  AT   RIGHT 

The  Double  O. 

( The  DEALER  sweeps  in  YOUTH'S  chips.  DESPAIR  walks 
slowly  off  through  door  at  Left.  YOUTH  goes  through 
his  pockets  but  can  find  no  money.  YOUTH  looks  up  at 
CHANCE  who  shakes  his  head  slowly,  refusing  to  give 
him  any  more  chips.) 

CHANCE 

Sorry ;  but  one  stack  is  the  limit  of  credit. 


74  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

Yes,  yes,  I  know. 

(Feels   through   his  pockets   helplessly.) 
Everything  gone — strange  I  didn't  think  to  save  even  a  few 
dollars. 

(Looks  at  the  ring  on  his  finger.) 

DEALER  AT   RIGHT 

(in  a  whisper  to  YOUTH) 
Ask  him ;  he'll  slip  you  a  stack  of  Reds  for  the  ring. 

YOUTH 

No,  no! 

(He  drops  his  head  on  his  hands.  CHANCE  calls  the  DEAL 
ER  AT  RIGHT  and  they  ivalk^  off  the  scene.  There  i$ 
silence  for  a  few  seconds  and  then  a  pistol  shot  is  heard 
off  at  Right.  YOUTH  jumps  to  his  feet  quickly.) 

What's  that?  I  know — it's  the  echo  of  my  own  thoughts, 
that's  what  it  was — the  echo!  I  was  thinking  about  a 
pistol  at  that  moment.  That's  why  the  echo  of  my  own 
thoughts  frightened  me. 

(To  EXPERIENCE.) 

What  did  you  think  it  was? 

EXPERIENCE 

Despair  has  made  his  last  bet  and  Death  wins — as  usual. 

YOUTH 

Death !  It  came  to  him  in  reality  and  to  me  it  was  only  an 
echo. 

(He  goes  to  the  door  at  Left  and  throws  it  open.  He 
starts  back  nervously  when  he  looks  in  the  other  room  and 
goes  to  EXPERIENCE.) 

Death !     It  never  was  so  close  to  me  before.     Oh,  Experi 
ence!     I'm  frightened  !     I'm  frightened !    I'm  frightened! 
(  The  colored  waiter  walks  down  to  YOUTH.) 

COLORED   WAITER 

Sandwiches,  sir ! 

THE   END  OF  THE   EPISODE. 


THE  FIFTH  EPISODE. 

THE   STREET    OF  DISILLUSION. 

DESCRIPTION  :     A  street  scene  showing  at  Left  the  ertt  ranee 
to  the  "Primrose  Path"  cabaret. 

DISC_-/ERED:      YOUTH  and  EXPERIENCE — walking  on. 

YOUTH 

This  is  the  place,  Experience;  we're  all  right  now.  A  lot 
of  my  good  friends  on  their  way  to  the  Primrose  Path 
will  be  along  here  presently.  I  feel  confident  they'll  help 
me  to  better  things  with  their  advice  and  influence. 

EXPERIENCE 

JL  don't  want  to  discourage  you,  my  boy,  but  friendships  made 
through  the  wine  glass  are  only  as  the  vapors  of  the 
night  and  they  fade  and  die  in  the  morning  of  reality. 

YOUTH 

Now  wait  a  minute,  Experience — you  call  the  turn  every 
time,  I'll  admit,  but  don't  tell  me  these  friends  of  mine 
are  going  back  on  me  simply  because  my  clothes  are  get 
ting  a  bit  shabby.  That  isn't  fair  to  them. 

EXPERIENCE 

No,  no ;  I'm  not  unfair,  but  I  am  as  old  as  the  world  and  I 
know  that  the  looking  glass  of  human  nature  reflects  over 
and  over  again  the  same  pictures.  Don't  depend  on  your 
friends — try  to  think  6f  something  else. 

YOUTH 

I  am  thinking — and  I  have  been  thinking. 

(Enter  WORK — a  big  and  powerful  man.  He  carries  his 
coat  over  his  arm — his  sleeves  rolled  up.  He  is  mopping 
his  perspiring  brow  and  is  in  a  hurry.  EXPERIENCE  stops 
him.) 

(75) 


76  EXPERIENCE 

EXPERIENCE 

Oh,  this  is  an  opportune  meeting.  How  are  you,  Work!1 
I'm  glad  to  see  you.  Youth,  meet  my  friend,  Work. 

YOUTH 

Work !  how  are  you  ?  I  was  thinking  about  you  and  wonder 
ing  what  you  looked  like. 

WORK 
{roughly  ) 

Youth,  eh?  Well,  you  size  up  all  right  to  me.  I'm  looking 
for  huskies  like  you.  I've  got  a  lot  of  vacant  places  down 
.  at  the  bottom  of  the  ladder.  Come  on,  speak  up,  speak 
up;  don't  stand  there  staring  at  me.  Oh!  I'm  rough,  I 
know,  but  there  isn't  any  harm  in  me — ask  your  friend, 
Experience. 

YOUTH 

(ingenuously} 

1  know .  there  isn't  any  harm  in  you — but — well 

(Turns  to  EXPERIENCE.) 

He  isn't  very  attractive,  is  he?  Did  you  notice  his  voice? — 
sounds  like  the  lash  of  a  whip!  See  how  the  perspiration 
is  rolling  down  his  face!  I  don't  believe  I'd  like  to  chum 
around  with  him. 

EXPERIENCE 

Oh,  Work  is  all  right.  Why,  in  time  you'd  learn  to  love 
him  like  a  father. 

WORK 

(roughly) 

Now,  just  a  minute — this  is  not  my  way  of  doing  things. — 
If  you  want  to  have  any  dealings  with  me  come  right 
along — don't  shilly-shaly  around  here — what  is  it  ?  Speak 
up !  speak  up ! 

YOUTH 

Well,  to  be  frank  with  you,  I  didn't  think  you  were  quite 
so  rough  in  your  manner.  I  thought  you  were — well, 
you  see,  your  hands — they  are  so • 


EXPERIENCE  77 

WORK 

(interrupting) 

Oh !  I  know — you  expected  to  find  me  looking  like  a  picture 
of  a  new  suit  of  clothes.  Well,  you've  got  the  wrong 
idea,  boy!  I'm  old  Work — the  original — and  I  have  no 
spare  moments  to  put  on  starched  shirts  and  fol  de  rols. 
Maybe  it's  one  of  my  sons  you  expected  to  meet — I  have 
five  of  them.  Now  there's  my  oldest  son — Job — he  takes 
after  me — he's  rough  and  ready  and  willing — Job  is. 
Then  there's  my  twins,  Position  and  Employment — nice 
boys,  but  a  little  unsteady  sometimes.  Then  there's  the 
pride  of  the  family — Profesion.  I  sent  him  to  college 
and  he  made  good.  He's  all  right — he's  a  credit  to  his 
father  arid  mother.  And  then  there's  Sinecure — he's  the 
black  sheep  of  the  family,  Sinecure  is.  He's  dolled  up 
all  the  time  and  he  travels  around  with  a  loafer  by  the 
name  of  Graft.  Sinecure  is  the  only  one  in  the  family 
I  have  no  use*  for,  but  I  don't  see  much  of  him — he's 
pretty  hard  to  find.  I  don't  know  why  I'm  wasting  my 
time  standing  here  to  tell  you  all  this — but  you're  a  kid 
and  there's  only  one  way  to  start  right  and  that's  through 
me.  If  you're  with  me  I'll  take  you  home  and  let  you 
meet  my  Missus — her  name  is  Content — she's  the  mother 
of  all  my  boys,  Content  is — she'll  be  a  mother  to  you — 
and  she's  the  finest,  grandest  mother  in  all  the  world. 
Now  listen,  boy;  I  know  your  mind  is  all  confused  and 
you're  not  strong  for  me  right  now — so  I'm  going  about 
my  affairs — and  when  your  thoughts  turn  to  old  Work 
— when  you  surety  \vant  me — well,  you  come  out  and 
look  for  me — so  long! 

(Exit  WORK.) 

YOUTH 

He  improves  as  you  get  to  know  him — doesn't  he?  I'd  bet* 
ter  call  him  back  and — no;  I'll  see  my  friends  first — 
maybe  they  can  introduce  me  to  that  son  of  his — what's 
his  name? 


78  EXPERIENCE 

EXPERIENCE 

You  mean  Sinecure? 

YOUTH 

That's  the  one — Sinecure.  I  want  to  start  in  on  the  very 
top  round  of  the  ladder  where  it's  soft  and  easy — so  I 
can  have  time  to  spend  with  my  friends. 

EXPERIENCE 

Only  a  bird  can  start  at  the  top  of  the  ladder — and  stay  there^. 
(Enter  PLEASURE  from  Left.) 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
Now  I'm  all  right.  Pleasure  still  has  that  inviting  smile. 

(He  goes  to  her.) 
Good  evening,  Pleasure ! 

PLEASURE 

(coldly)          , 
I  beg  your  pardon ! 

YOUTH 

We've  been  strangers  lately  but  you  remember  me,  of  course  !• 

PLEASURE 

(coldly) 
I  can't  say  that  I  do 

YOUTH 

Youth! — don't  you  remember? — You  invited  me  to  the 
Primrose  Path.  I  haven't  been  ^here  lately  because  I've 
had  the  misfortune  to 

PLEASURE 
(interrupting) 

Stop!  it  was  never  intended  that  the  word  "misfortune" 
should  be  spoken  in  my  presence.  It  annoys  me  fright 
fully — please  step  aside ! 

(She  exits  haughtily  into  the  Cabaret.) 


EXPERIENCE  79 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 

She  doesn't  know  me — and  even  her  voice  is  different.     It 
hurts  to  have  her  speak  that  way! 

EXPERIENCE 

The  voice  of  Pleasure  is  always  the  thrust  of  a  dagger  in 
the  dark. 

(Enter  STYLE  and  BEAUTY.) 

YOUTH 

(goes  to  BEAUTY) 
Beauty,  you  remember  me,  don't  you? 

BEAUTY 

Of  course ;  we  danced  the  Tango  together,  didn't  wp  ? 

YOUTH 

No,  I  never  danced  a  Tango  with  you — but  we  waltzed  to 
gether — we  were  very  good  friends. 

BEAUTY 

Oh,  really;  I've  forgotten;  I  waltz  with  so  many — pardon 
me,  won't  you? 

(She  goes  in  Cabaret.) 

YOUTH 

(to  STYLE) 
I'm  so  glad  to  see  you  again,  Style!    How  have  you  been? 

STYLE 

I  don't  seem  to  recall  you. 

YOUTH 

Oh,  yes,  you  do.  Don't  you  remember  how  nice  you  were 
to  me  about  my  necktie — it  was  just  a  little  too  narrow 
— remember?  And  my  trousers  were  too  long — of  course, 
these  I  have  on  now  are  the  worse  for  wear  and  they 
are  not  pressed  but  I  think  the  length  is  all  right,  don't 
you? 

STYLE 

Have  you  been  drinking? 


8Q  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

No;  no,  I  cut  that  all  out. 

STYLE 

Well,  I'm  afraid  you  haven't  quite  recovered  because  I  don't 

know  you  anchl  don't  know  what  you're  talking  about. 

(STYLE  goes  in  Cabaret.) 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
Have  I  changed  so  very  much  or  what  is  the  matter? 

EXPERIENCE 

You  haven't  changed,  my  boy,  and  neither  has  human  nature. 
Fair  weather  friends  have  no  use  for  you  when  there's 
a  storm  in  your  soul. 

YOUTH 

It's  hard  to  lose  faith  in  them — but  I'm  beginning  to  under 
stand. 

(Enter  WEALTH  and  FRIVOLITY  at  other  side.) 
There's  Wealth!     I'm  sure  I  can  depend  upon  him. 

(Goes  to  WEALTH.) 
/ 

WEALTH 

(to  FRIVOLITY) 

You  can  believe  me — just  so  long  as  there's  any  champagne 
left  in  the  world  I  shall  devote  my  life  to  you,  Frivolity! 

YOUTH 

(to  WEALTH) 
Pardon  me! 

FRIVOLITY 

(to  WEALTH) 
You  couldh't  find  a  better  way  to  occupy  your  time. 

YOUTH 

(to  WEALTH) 
Good  evening,  Wealth — how  have  you  been  ? 


EXPERIENCE  81 

WEALTH 

(paying  n&  attention  to  him — speaks  to  FRIVOLITY) 
Every  time  I  sober  up  lately   I  begin  to  moralize  and  get 
desnondent  so  if  you  don't  mind  I'll  shut  out  all  the  blue 
devils  by  travelling  around  with  you,  Frivolity. 

FRIVOLITY 

Of  course,  Wealth ! — -I  won't  give  you  time  to  be  despondent. 
Let's  go  in  and  dance — I  love  dancing! 
(Exit  FRIVOLITY  into  Cabaret.    WEALTH  is  about  to  fol 
low — YOUTH  takes  him  by  the  arm.) 

YOUTH 

Listen,  Wealth,  I'll  stand  for  it  from  the  others,  but  don't 
you  tell  me  you've  forgotten  me! 

WEALTH 

Bless  my  soul,  what  is  it?    What's  the  matter? 

YOUTH 

You  were  my  friend — you  taught  me  how  to  throw  my  money 
away. 

WEALTH 

Did  I? 

YOUTH 

You  did — and  I  learned  the  lesson  thoroughly.  Now  with 
your  influence  and  advice  I  mean  to  do  better  things. 
A  new  spirit  is  awake  within  me  and  I  want  you  to 
help  me. 

WEALTH 

Help  you — of  course — I'm  always  helping  people — but  don't 
take  advantage  of  me  wrhen  I'm  with  a  lady.     Now  me- 
member  that — here's  a  bit  of  money  for  you! 
(Holds  out  a  bilfto  YOUTH.) 


82  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

(looking  at  him  in  astonishment) 

Money! — you — you  think  I  want  your  money!  Well,  I 
don't.  You  taught  me  to  throw  mine  away  but  you  can't 
teach  me  to  take  yours  like  a  beggar. 

WEALTH 

Well,  what  is  it  you  wanted? 

YOUTH 

I  wanted  a  chance  to  earn  it.  I  wanted  a  chance  to  prove 
to  myself  that  even  if  Ambition  is  dead  his  memory  still 
lives — and  you've  given  it  to  me.  Yes,  you,  with  your 
smug-faced  charity,  you  have  shown  me  that  Experience 
is  right.  The  friendship  of  the  selfish  is  a  warm  wind 
from  the  South  when  the  skies  are  clear,  but  when  trouble 
comes  it's  as  cold  as  the  blast  of  Death.  Go  where  Frivol 
ity  waits  for  you — you've  taught  me  something  worth 
while  this  time.  Come  on,  Experience,  I'm  going  to  look 
for  Work. 

THE  END  OF  THE  EPISODE. 


THE    SIXTH    EPISODE. 

IN  THE  HOUSE  OF  THE  LAST  RESORT. 

DESCRIPTION:  A  dive  of  the  Rathskeller  type.  Door  in 
back  leading  to  the  street.  Door  at  Left 
leading  to  the  kitchen.  Cheap  tables 
about  the  place.  A  small  platform  at 
Right  upon  which  the  performer  stands 
to  sing;  a  piano  above  platform  at  Right. 

DISCOVERED:  GROUCH  sitting  at  a  table  at  Left.  YOUTH, 
as  a  waiter,  in  his  shirt  sleeves  and  an 
apron,  is  serving  him.  EXPERIENCE,  also 
,  as  a  waiter,  is  at  a  table  at  Right,  waiting 
on  DISGRACE,  a  man,  and  INDOLENCE,  a 
woman.  Pianist  pounding  out  rag-time 
on  piano. 

GROUCH 
(loudly) 

Here!  here!  stop  that!  I'm  not  going  to  learn  to  eat  to  music. 

(To  YOUTH.) 
Say!  what  kind  of  a  waiter  are  you?     I  ask  you  for  two 

eggs  boiled  three  minutes  and  you  bring  me  a  couple  of 

door  knobs. — What  do  you  mean? 

YOUTH 

I'm  sorry,  Grouch,  but  I  brought  you  what  they  gave  me. 

GROUCH 

Aw,  shut  up!  I'm  payin'  for  what  I  want — not  what  you 
bring  me — see?  If  you  don't  know  how  to  wait  you 
shouldn't  be  here. 

(83) 


84  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

That's  the  trouble — I  don't  know  how  to  wait. 

GROUCH 

You  bet  you  don't. 

YOUTH 

Why  don't  you  give  a  fellow  a  chance? 

GROUCH 

Give  you  a  chance!  Say!  I've  come  in  here  to  get  waited  on 
— not  to  give  chances.  I  want  things  right. 

(Indicating  piece  of  toast.} 

And  look  at  this! — I  asked  for  toast,  didn't  I? — Toast  is 
what  I  asked  for — and  what's  this?  A  half-portion  of 
rag-carpet — that's  what  it  is.  How  am  I  going  to  eat 
it  ? — how  ? — how  ? 

YOUTH 

Well,  I'll  tell  you,  Grouch — if  you  eat  as  you  usually  do  I 
should  say  it's  something  like  a  vacuum  cleaner. 

GROUCH 

That'll  do!     Don't  get  new,  now — don't  get  new \ 

(Holds  up  coffee  cup.) 
What's  this?    What  do  you  call  this? 

YOUTH 

I  haven't  found  a  name  for  it  myself — but  the  Boss  calls  it 
coffee. 

GROUCH 

Coffee! — Huh!    Coffee!    Where  does  it  come  from? 

YOUTH 

I  think  it's  imported  from  the  Ohio  River. 

GROUCH 

Oh!  is  that  so!  Say!  I  want  to  tell  you  something: — If  you 
want  to  make  a  hit  with  me  you  wait  on  me  right.  I'm 
a  steady  customer  here  and  if  you  want  my  trade  you 
keep  your  face  closed — and  don't  talk  back — See? 


EXPERIENCE  85 

YOUTH 

Listen,  Grouch — you  order  fifteen  cents  worth  of  food  and 

you  hand  me  four  dollars  worth  of  abuse.     Now  eat  the 

door  knobs  and  let  me  alone. 
( Turns  to  EXPERIENCE,  who  has  come  down  stage  and  is 

iv  at  chin  g  him.} 
Oh !   Experience,   I   can't  stand   this  much   longer — I   can't 

'do  it. 

EXPERIENCE 

My  boy,  you  still  have  a  foot-hold  on  the  edge  of  the  abyss. 
Courage!  There  may  be  a  chance  to  crawl  back  to 
safety. 

YOUTH 

It  isn't  that  I  have  no  courage — but  look!  Look  where  I 
am!  Look  what  I've  done  with  my  prospects — buried 
them  all  under  the  dust  of  failure.  But  I  have  tried, 
haven't  I,  Experience?  When  my  friends  passed  me  by 
I  didn't  give  up,  did  I?  Day  after  day  I  walked  the 
streets  looking  for  Work — and  couldn't  find  him.  He's 
so  big  and  powerful — and  it's  such  a  little  world — I  won 
der  why  I  couldn't  meet  him  again ;  and  why,  to  keep 
body  and  soul  together,  Fate  should  drive  me  here  to  the 
House  of  Last  Resort. 

EXPERIENCE 

You  are  trying  to  solve  the  Riddle  of  Life,  my  boy — and  the 
Great  Answer  can  come  to  you  only  through  sorrow  and 
suffering. 

GROUCH 
(angrily} 
Waiter!' 

(YOUTH  goes  to  him.  EXPERIENCE  goes  up  and  waits  on 
the  man  and  woman — then  exits  at  Left.  Enter  FRAILTY. 
She  goes  to  table  at  Right.} 

YOUTH 

(to  GROUCH) 
What  is  it  now? 


86  EXPERIENCE 

GROUCH 

I  want  to  pay  my  check. 

YOUTH 

Two  eggs — coffee — toast — twenty  cents. 

GROUCH 

(gives  coin) 

There  you  are — give  my  nickle  in  change — I  don't  believe  in 
giving  tips — understand  ? 

YOUTH 

(gives  him  nickle} 

Listen !    If  you  gave  me  a  tip  you  wouldn't  eat  for  a  week— 
and  I'd  hate  to  see  you  lose  flesh. 

GROUCH 
Aw!  cut  it  out! 

FRAILTY 

(to  YOUTH) 
Hello,  Kid! 

YOUTH 

(going  to  FRAILTY) 
Hello,  Frailty! 

FRAILTY 

Havin'  another  run-in  with  Grouch? 

YOUTH 

No ;  it's  the  same  one — it's  always  continued  in  our  next. 

FRAILTY 

Sit  down,  Kid! 

YOUTH 

No,  Frailty!  the  Boss  might  catch  me — and  he's  not  strong 
for  me  anyway. 

FRAILTY 

Aw!  let  him  rave.     Sit  down! 

YOUTH 

(sitting  down) 

Well,  I'll  take  a  chance.     I've  been  on  my  feet  for  eight 
hours — but  there  isn't  much  doing  just  now. 


EXPERIENCE  87 

FRAILTY 

There  ain't  ever  anything  doing  here  till  about  the  time  de 
cent  people  hit  the  hay.  You  got  the  blues,  ain't  you,  Kid? 

YOUTH 

Well,  I'm  not  holding  my  sides  from  laughing — or  anything 
like  that. 

FRAILTY 

What's  the  idea,  Kid? 

YOUTH 

What  do  you  mean  ? 

FRAILTY 

I've  been  sizing  you  up  every  time  I  slide  in  here.  You  don't 
belong  to  this  joint. 

YOUTH 
I've  got  to  live  some  way. 

(GROUCH  falls  to  sleep  quietly — head  down  on  chest.) 

FRAILTY 

I  know!  we  all  got  to  live — someway.  I  guess  you  got  me 
sized  up,  too,  ain't  you? 

YOUTH 

I  don't  have  time  to  size  anybody  up. 
FRAILTY 

Yes,  you  do,  Kid — but  you've  got  the  real  stuff  in  your 
make-up — and  that's  why  I  like  you.  You  don't  get 
mushy  like  some  of  those  drum-heads  in  the  slumming 
parties  and  lean  over  and  pat  me  on  the  hand  and  say, 
"Who  done  this  to  you? — Come  on,  tell  me  the  story  of 
your  life,  little  girl."  Gee!  I  hate  them  guys. 

YOUTH 

I  don't  blame  you. 

FRAILTY 

Listen,  Kid!  it's  all  right  for  me  to  be  part  of  the  furniture 
here  because  I'm  a  girl  and  the  devil  has  his  brand  on 


88  EXPERIENCE 

my  shoulder — but  you  don't  belong!     What  put  you  up 
against  it,  Kid — booze  or  a  doll? 

YOUTH 

Neither  one  of  them. 

FRAILTY 

Ain't  you  never  had  a  little  queen  to  patter  around  and  make 
a  little  fuss  over  you? 

YOUTH 

Please !     I  took  the  wrong  road — that's  all. 

FRAILTY 

I'm  right  with  you,  Kid.  I  picked  out  the  wrong  road 
myself — and  I  picked  a  bird. 

YOUTH 

One  with  white  lights  all  over  it,  eh? 

FRAILTY 

Sure! 

YOUTH 

They  make  a  rotten  road  look  mighty  cheerful — those  old 
incandescents. 

FRAILTY 

Ain't  it  hell,  Kid? 

YOUTH 

It  is  for  me — and  it  must  be  worse  than  that  for  you. 

FRAILTY 

It's  a  black  world  for  a  lot  of  us,  boy.  But,  come  on — > 
let's  pin  a  rose  on  it.  Roses  look  well  on  black. 

YOUTH 

You  know,  it  does  me  a  lot  of  good  to  talk  to  you — it  makes 
me  ashamed  of  myself  for  wanting  to  give  up  the  fight. 
You're  a  dead  game  little  sport  and  I  hope  you'll  come 
to  a  turning  in  your  road — and  you'll  leave  all  the  white 


EXPERIENCE  89 

lights  behind  you  and  you'll  go  on  and  on  to  a  little 
cottage  waiting  for  you  in  the  sunset. 

FRAILTY 

Don't,  Kid — please!  I  get  dreams  like  that  sometimes — and 
I  dream  till  my  heart  aches.  But  you  know  what  my 
name  is — and  the  World  knows  what  my  name  is — and 
there  ain't  any  man  willing  to  call  his  wife  Frailty. 

YOUTH 

Gee !  it's  tough ! 

FRAILTY 

Aw,  come  on ;  let's  cut  this  out — or  the  weeping  willows 
won't  have  anything  on  us.  Listen!  I  like  you,  Kid,  and 
I'd  go  the  limit  for  you  because  you  treat  me  just  as  if 
I  was  a  nice  girl. 

YOUTH 
You  are. 

FRAILTY 

I  am — with  you — and  that  lets  me  out.  But,  say!  never 
mind  about  me. — You  got  to  get  away  from  this  joint. 
It's  coverin'  your  soul  with  poison. 

YOUTH 

How  am  I  going  to  do  it? 

FRAILTY 

You've  got  to  get  money,  Kid ! 

(Enter  MAKESHIFT,  a  rough,  husky  man.    He  watches 
them.   EXPERIENCE  enters  from  kitchen  and  looks  on.) 

YOUTH 

Money!  Listen,  girl,  you're  making  me  laugh.  I  should 
say  I  have  got  to  get  money. 

GROUCH 
(waking  up) 
Waiter!     Where's  that  waiter? 

(YouTH  jumps  up  quickly.) 


90  EXPERIENCE 

MAKESHIFT 
(roughly  to  YOUTH) 

Say!  what  do  you  think  this  is — a  front  parlor  in  the  St. 
Regis?  Now  you  cut  out  this  loafin'  and  chinnin'  with 
the  customers  or  I'll  boot  you  out  of  my  place. 

FRAILTY 

Say,  Makeshift — you  let  him  alone — you  big  stiff. 

MAKESHIFT 

Is  that  so? — I'm  on  all  right.     I'll  throw  you  out,  too. 

YOUTH 

Now  listen,  Makeshift;  she  had  nothing  to  do  with  it. 

MAKESHIFT 

Shut  up — and  attend  to  your  work. 

(Turning  on  FRAILTY.) 
And  don't  you  go  buttin'  in  just  because  you're  stuck  on  him. 

FRAILTY 

Well,  s'pose  I  am — he  ain't  stuck  on  me — and  you're  a  bum 
sport  to  go  and  tip  him  off. 

(To  YOUTH.) 
Bring  me  a  beer,  Kid. 

(As  YOUTH  starts  off,  GROUCH  calls  him.) 

GROUCH 

Waiter!     Come  here — fresh! 

'YOUTH 

(as  he  is  passing  him) 
Oh,  go  to  hell ! 

(YOUTH  exits  at  Left.    EXPERIENCE  follows  him  off.) 

GROUCH 

(to  MAKESHIFT) 

Get  me,  Makeshift !  You  want  to  get  rid  of  him  if  you  want 
my  trade. 


EXPERIENCE  91 

MAKESHIFT 

Leave  him  to  me;  I'll  learn  him  or  break  his  neck. 

(  The  habitues  of  the  place  begin  to  gather  for  their  nightly 
revels — DISSOLUTE,  a  girl,  with  ROGUE,  a  man;  ILLIT 
ERATE,  a  girl,  with  SNEAK,  a  man;  RECKLESS,  a  girl, 
with  CHEAT,  a  man.  DISSOLUTE  and  ROGUE  come  down 
to  MAKESHIFT.  DISSOLUTE  speaks  with  French  accent.} 

MAKESHIFT 

How  are  you,  Rogue!  How  are  you,  Dissolute!  Say,  get 
this!  There's  a  swell  slumming  party  doin"  my  joint  to 
night  and  I  don't  want  you  to  put  anything  over. 

DISSOLUTE 

(with  French  accent} 

Ah,  Makeshift,  you  are  so  funny!  Why  it  is  we  don't  put 
what  you  call  "something  over"  on  these  fools  that  go 
slumming!  My  friend  Rogue  and  me — we  have  to  live 
— nest-ce  pas! 

ROGUE 

Sure,  Makeshift,  let  me  pick  a  sparkler,  or  fish  out  a  bank 
roll  from  dese  swell  nuts.  Me  and  Dissolute  is  got  to 
eat.  ain't  we? 

MAKESHIFT 

Nix !  No  rough  stuff  to-night.  I  give  me  word  to  the 
Captain  of  the  Precinct — and  me  word  is  me  bond,  see! 

DISSOLUTE 

(laughs — goes  to  GROUCH) 
His  word  is  a  bond,  eh!    Well,  it  is  some  bond. 

(Enter  YOUTH  with  a  glass  of  bee*r  for  FRAILTY — he  goes 
to  table — gives  her  the  beer — she  pays  for  it.  EXPERI 
ENCE  enters  at  same  time  and  waits  on  tables  in  back.} 

FRAILTY 

Thank  you,  Kid ! 

(Whispers.) 
Don't  let  Makeshift  get  your  goat. 


92  EXPERIENCE 

DISSOLUTE 

(goes  to  YOUTH) 
I  could  call  ze  handsome  waiter — yes ! 

YOUTH 

(to  DISSOLUTE) 
You  want  to  order  something? 

DISSOLUTE 

Ordaire — ha!  I  want  to  talk  wiz  you.  You  are  not  like 
ze  uzzer  waiters — you  have  in  ze  face  something — what 
you  call ! — different,  eh  ?  I  could  put  such  loving  arms 
around  you  and  I  could  kiss  you,  ah,  so  sweet. 

ROGUE 

(dragging  her  away  roughly} 
Cut  that  stuff! 

(To  YOUTH.) 
You  let  my  doll  alone  or  I'll  break  your  jaw. 

(YOUTH  draws  back  to  hit  ROGUE — DISSOOLUTE  grabs 
ROGUE — FRAILTY  touches  YOUTH  on  the  arm.) 

FRAILTY 
(warningly) 

The  goat,  Kid,  the  goat!  Rough  stuff  won't  get  you  any 
thing. 

MAKESHIFT 

(to  YOUTH) 

Say!  You're  goin'  to  get  yours  in  a  minute.  Now  you  get 
busy  or  I'll  bounce  my  fist  off  your  bean. 
(YouTH  goes  to  table  L.,  and  waits  on  RECKLESS  and 
CHEAT — going  out  at  Left  presently  for  the  order.  EX 
PERIENCE  follows  hjm  out.  INDOLENCE,  a  girl,  with 
RASCAL,  a  man,  enter.  ILLITERATE  comes  down  to 
MAKESHIFT.) 

ILLITERATE 
( tearfully  ) 

Say,  Makeshift,  youse  has  always  took  me  for  a  lady,  ain't 
youse. 

(SNEAK  comes  down.) 


EXPERIENCE  93 

MAKESHIFT 

What's  the  trouble,  Illiterate? 

ILLITERATE 

Say!  I'm  a  lady,  I  am,  and  I  comes  in  dis  hole  in  de  wall 
wit  dis  guy  Sneak  for  a  pail  of  suds.  After  he  goes 
swimmin'  in  de  suds  he  tells  me  he's  broke  and  I  got  to 
pay  for  it. 

SNEAK 

Aw,  cheese!  cheese!    You  got  de  coin,  ain't  you? 

ILLITERATE 

Say,  I'm  a  lady,  and  I  pays  as  I  goes,  see! — but  I  ain't  goin' 
to  put  up  my  good  money  to  cover  your  system  with  a 
cheap  jag. 

MAKESHIFT 

(shakes  SNEAK) 
You  pay  for  your  own  drinks,  Sneak — come  across! 

SNEAK 

How  kin  I?     I'm  flat. 

MAKESHIFT- 

What  are  you  doin'  in  here  if  you  ain't  got  any  coin? 
(MAKESHIFT  grabs  SNEAK  and  runs  him  out.) 

ILLITERATE 

Once  a  lady,  always  a  lady ! 

(Sits  at  table.  Pianist  plays — chatter  and  laughter — wait 
ers  running  back  and  forth  with  beer.  YOUTH  and  EX 
PERIENCE  in  and  out^ — very  busy.  MAKESHIFT  goes  from 
table  to  table  and  presently  gets  down  to  FRAILTY  at 
table  at  Left.} 

MAKESHIFT 

(to  FRAILTY) 
Say,  you're  usin'  up  a  lot  of  table  here — where's  your  John  ? 


94  EXPERIENCE 

FRAILTY 

Oh,  let  me  alone. 

(To  YOUTH,  who  is  at  the  next  table  serving  beer.) 
Gimme  another  beer,  Kid ! 

(MAKESHIFT  walks  away.  YOUTH  gives  her  a  glass  of 
beer  from  his  tray — wipes  off  the  table.  RECKLESS  goes 
down  to  table,  C.) 

MAKESHIFT 

(sees  RECKLESS) 
Here,  here!    This  table  is  reserved.     Get  out  o'  here! 

RECKLESS 

Say,  Makeshift,  listen !  What  was  that  line  of  talk  you  were 
handing  out  last  night  about  a  swell  guy  comin'  here  to 
sing  for  your  customers? 

(YouTH  nudges  FRAILTY  on  the  arm — they  both  listen. 
EXPERIENCE  joins  them.) 

MAKESHIFT 

Well,  I  engages  a  cuckoo,  see!  and  I  pays  him  twenty-five 
bones  in  advance.  Then  when  he  comes  down  here  and 
sees  my  place  he  throws  the  coin  on  the  floor  and  beats 
it.  Say !  I  hope  de  next  time  he  hits  a  high  note  it  chokes 
him. 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
If  I  could  get  a  chance  to  sing  maybe  I'd  make  good! 

FRAILTY 

Go  after  it,  Kid.     I'll  plug  for  you. 

YOUTH 

Ask  him  for  me,  Experience — please!  You  know  I  learned 
a  lot  of  songs  in  the  Primrose  Path — maybe  I  can  put 
one  over. 

CHEAT 

(to  MAKESHIFT) 

It  ain't  goin'  to  do  your  place  no  good  to  advertise  swelj 
singers  and  then  not  oroduce. 


EXPERIENCE  95 

MAKESHIFT 

It  ain't  my  fault. 

YOUTH 

If  I  could  make  good  maybe  it  might  lead  to  something  bet 
ter — ask  him,  Experience ! 

(EXPERIENCE  goes  to  MAKESHIFT.) 

FRAILTY 

(to  YOUTH) 

Singin'  is  better  than  beer  slingin' !     Gee,  Kid!  I'm  rootin' 
for  you ! 

EXPERIENCE 

(to  MAKESHIFT) 
Your  singer  didn't  show  up,  eh! 

MAKESHIFT 

No;  left  me  flat. 

EXPERIENCE 

Give  Youth  a  chance,  will  you? 

MAKESHIFT 

Who — him  ?    What  do  you  want  to  do — drive  my  customers 
out? 

EXPERIENCE 

He  won't  do  that — he'll  entertain  them — let  him  try. 

MAKESHIFT 

Well,  I  suppose  there's  only  one  way  to  find  out  and  that's 
through  you,  Experience.    All  right,  tell  him  to  tune  up. 
(EXPERIENCE  goes  to  YOUTH.    MAKESHIFT  goes  to  Left 
up  stage.) 

EXPERIENCE 

He'll  give  you  a  chance — pull  yourself  together  and  don't  get 
nervous. 

FRAILTY 

If  the  audience  gets  up  and  leaves  the  room  you'll  still  be 
a  hit  with  me,  Kid! 


96  EXPERIENCE 

(MAKESHIFT  gets  to  table  L-C.  YOUTH  goes  to  pianist — 
explains  about  song — EXPERIENCE  stands  near  FRAILTY 
— chatter  and  laughter.) 

MAKESHIFT 

Order!  Order!  Ladies  and  gents:  I  take  great  pleasure  in 
announcin'  the  first  appearance  in  my  Royal  Palace  Cafe 
of — get  up  on  the  platform,  Kid ! 

(YouTH  does  so — he  is  very  nervous.) 

The  first  appearance  of — what's  your  singin'  name,  Kid? 

YOUTH 

It's  immaterial. 

MAKESHIFT 

I  takes  great  pleasure,  ladies  and  gents,  in  introducin'  Imma 
terial,  the  singin'  wonder  of  dis  city. 

YOUTH 

Listen,  don't  call  me  a  wonder,  because  I'm  not,  and  it  makes 
me  conscious. 

MAKESHIFT 

Well,  get  conscious.  You  make  good  or  I'll  throw  you  out. 
Cut  loose ! 

(MAKESHIFT  walks  off.) 

YOUTH 

(sings — plaintively  and  nervously) 
There's  a  Big  Road  in  the  City 

That  they  call  The  Great  White  Way, 
Where  the  bright  lignts — staring  white  lights — 

Turn  the  night-time  into  day ; 
But  you're  lonely  when  you  walk  it 

For  you  want  once  more  to  find 
In  the  shadows,  in  the  darkness, 

That  Old  Road  you  left  behind :— 


EXPERIENCE  97, 

REFRAIN 

It's  the  Old  Road  back  to  Homeland, 

It's  the  outcast's  only  goal, 
Where  the  ever  cruel  white  lights 

Throw  no  shadows  on  your  soul. 
It's  the  Old  Road  back  to  Childhood, 

It's  the  road  you  want  to  roam, 
With  the  stars  above  to  guide  you — 

It's  the  Road  to  Home,  Sweet  Home! 

SECOND  VERSE 

With  your  pockets  lined  with  money 

You  can  walk  The  Great  White  Way; 
It's  a  fine  road — song  and  wine  road ! 

Just  an  endless  holiday; 
But  when  once  your  gold  has  vanished 

In  the  cold  gray  dawn  you'll  find 
That  it's  dreary  and  you're  weary 

For  the  Road  you  left  behind : — 

REFRAIN 

It's  the  Old  Road  back  to  Homeland, 

It's  the  outcast's  only  goal. 
Where  the  ever  cruel  white  lights 
Throw  no  shadows  on  your  soul. 
It's  the  Old  Road  back  to  Childhood, 

It's  the  road  you  want  to  roam, 
With  the  stars  above  to  guide  you — 

It's  the  Road  to  Home,  Sweet  Home! 
(While  YOUTH  is  repeating  the  refrain  MAKESHIFT  en 
ters  and  sees  that  his  customers  are  sentimentally  affected 
by  the  song  to  an  extent  that  some  of  the  women  are 
weeping  and  the  men  are  doivncast.  MAKESHIFT  drags 
YOUTH  from  the  platform.) 


98  EXPERIENCE 

MAKESHIFT 

It  won't  do,  I  tell  you !  That  mush  stuff  don't  go  with  me. 
You  got  a  lot  of  these  dames  bawlin'  their  eyes  out — that 
don't  sell  beer! 

(The  habitues  of  the  place  applaud  YOUTH.) 

YOUTH 

But  wait  a  minute — the  people  like  me. 

* 

MAKESHIFT 

Like  you — nothing!  They  just  made  a  noise  with  their  hands 
to  keep  from  throwin'  the  furniture  at  you — I'm  wise. 

YOUTH 

I'll  sing  every  evening — just  for  my  board,  if  you'll  let  me. 
I'll  learn  a  lot  of  songs. 

MAKESHIFT 

No,  I  tell  you !  No !  You  learn  to  be  a  waiter — and  learn 
it  quick  or  out  you  go. 

(Walks  away.) 

YOUTH 

(to  EXPERIENCE) 
Well,  I  didn't  make  good? 

EXPERIENCE 

I  thought  you  did. 

FRAILTY 

Sure  you  made  good,  Kid.  Why,  to  me  you  had  Caruso 
making  faces  at  himself. 

(Enter  the  slumming  party — PLEASURE,  BEAUTY,  FASH 
ION,  STYLE  and  WEALTH.  MAKESHIFT  meets  them — 
sits  them  at  the  table  reserved  for  them  in  C.) 

MAKESHIFT 

Glad  to  see  you,  ladies  and  gents!    This  way! 

YOUTH 

(seeing  them — speaks  to  EXPERIENCE) 

Look,  Experience — they'll  know  me  and  recognize  me.  What 
am  I  to  do? 


EXPERIENCE  99 

EXPERIENCE 

They'll  not  know  you,  my  boy,  because  they  look  upon  the 
scene  with  eyes  that  are  blind  to  the  truth  and  in  their 
hearts  there  is  no  understanding. 

(EXPERIENCE  goes  up  stage.) 

MAKESHIFT 

(to  YOUTH) 

Say!     Now  is  the  limit,  see!     Ain't  that  your  table — don't 
you  see  ladies  and  gents  settin'  there?    Go  on — get  busy! 
(Pushes  him  to  table  at  C.) 

YOUTH 

(shame-faced,  R.  of  table  C.) 
Order,  ladies  and  gents! 

PLEASURE 
(to  others) 
Oh!     Here  is  the  waiter!    Typical  of  the  place,  isn't  he? 

BEAUTY 

Depraved  face,  I  think! 

STYLE 

Quite !     Wicked-looking  eyes ! 

YOUTH 

(getting  angry) 
Orders,  please! 

FASHION 

>;'ancy !     He  doesn't  even  glance  at  my  gown! 

WEALTH 

(to  the  others) 
nil  we  have  some  wine? 

PLEASURE 

)h,  not  here!  Wine  would  be  terribly  out  of  place.  That 
sort  af  waJter  doesn't  suggest  wi 


100  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 
(  angrily  ) 
Orders,  ladies  and  gents! 

BEAUTY 

Vicious  looking,  isn't  he? 

STYLE 

Quite.    Notice  the  way  he  glares. 

WEALTH 

Shall  we  try  some  beer? 

PLEASURE 

Oh,  do!     Beer  sounds  so  slummy. 

WEALTH 

(to  YOUTH) 

Bring  me  a  lot  of  it — enough  for  everybody  in  the  place. 
(YouTH   starts  for  exit — stops   up   stage — tells   MAKE 
SHIFT  what  WEALTH  said  and  exits  at  Left.     MAKE 
SHIFT  sends  EXPERIENCE  and  other  waiters  after  beer 
for  the  crowd.) 

PLEASURE 

Oh,  Fashion,  don't  you  love  them? — such  murderous  types. 

FASHION 

Yes,    Pleasure,   but  they   don't   look  at   my  clothes.     Why 
should  I  come  here  if  I'm  not  to  be  noticed! 

WEALTH 

Pardon  me! 

(Crosses  to  the  table  where  FRAILTY  is  sitting.) 

FASHION 
Oh,  he's  going  to  speak  to  that  girl! 

FRIVOLITY 

Wait  a  moment,  Wealth; — didn't  you  say  you  were  going 
to  devote  all  your  time  to  me  ? 


EXPERIENCE.  ,.,,.,,  .-101 


WEALTH  " 

I'm  afraid  I've  said  that  to  a  great  many  ladies. 

PLEASURE 

Wealth  is  so  cosmopolitan,  isn't  he? 

WEALTH 

(to  FRAILTY) 
Good  evening! 

FRAILTY 

Hello,  Pop ! 

WEALTH 

May  I  buy  you  a  glass  of  beer? 

FRAILTY 

You  ain't  goin'  to  hurt  my  feelings. 

(YouTH,  EXPERIENCE  and  other  waiters  on  with  beer. 
YOUTH  puts  four  glasses  on  table  for  PLEASURE'S  party.) 

WEALTH 

(calling  YOUTH) 
Waiter!     Some  beer! 

(YouTH  crosses—puts  two  glasses  at  FRAILTY'S  table. 
The  pianist  plays — chatter — laughter — the  waiters  very 
busy — MAKESHIFT  moving  about  for  several  seconds. 
INDOLENCE,  finding  thai  RASCAL,  her  escort,  has  left  her 
and  has  gone  over  to  flirt  with  ILLITERATE,  throws  a 
beer  mug  at  his  head,  misses  him  and  breaks  a  lot  of 
dishes.  There  follows  a  row  typical  of  the  place.] 

INDOLENCE 

(to  ILLITERATE) 
Whata  you  try  to  do,  eh? 

ILLITERATE 

Aw,  beat  it,  Indolence,  you  Wop! 

INDOLENCE 

So,  you  calla  me  da  Wop,  eh? 

(To  RASCAL.) 
And  you — you  makea  for  me  one  double-cross,  eh? 


102  EXPERIENCE 


RASCAL 

No,  no;  I  justa  speaka  da  good  eve! 

INDOLENCE 

Oh,  you  speaka  da  good  eve! — then  I  speaka  da  good  night! 
(Gets  knife  from   her  stocking — MAKESHIFT  grabs  her 
hand.} 

MAKESHIFT 

Cut  that,  now — get  back  to  your  beer  drinkin'  or  I'll  throw 
the  whole  bunch  of  you  out. 

INDOLENCE 

(dragging  RASCAL  with  her) 
You  cornea  with  me  or  I  makea  plenty  da  work  for  da  Doc ! 

MAKESHIFT 

Order!  Order!  Ladies  and  gents,  I  wants  youse  to  drink 
to  Wealth,  which  has  treated  you  so  royal. 
(All  the  habitues  of  the  place  rise — raise  their  beer  glasses 
and  shout :  "Here's  looking  at  you,  WEALTH  !"  WEALTH 
acknowledges  by  rising  and  bowing.  Chatter.  Pianist 
plays.) 

.    PLEASURE 

Exciting,  isn't  it,  Beauty? 

BEAUTY 

Extremely !  but  the  atmosphere  isn't  good  for  my  complexion. 

FASHION 

I  hate  the  place — there's  nobody  here  to  notice  my  clothes. 

STYLE 

(rising) 

I  don't  care  for  slumming.     One  never  knows  just  what  to 
wear. 

WEALTH 

(to  FRAILTY) 

I'm  sorry  you  won't  tell  me  the  story  of  your  life.     I  feel 
very  sympathetic  to-night. 


EXPERIENCE  103 

FRAILTY 

Listen,  Pop!     Carry  your  sympathy  a  little  steadier — you're 
spilling  it. 

PLEASURE 

(to  YOUTH,  who  stands  near  their  table) 
Waiter!     Tell  Wealth  we  are  quite  ready  to  go. 

YOUTH 

(to  WEALTH) 
They're  waiting  for  you. 

WEALTH 

(getting  up) 

All  right,  but  don't  touch  me  on  the  shoulder — I  don't  like  it. 

YOUTH 

I'm  sorry.  (Exit  at  L.) 

WEALTH 

(gives  money  to  MAKESHIFT) 
Keep  the  change,  my  man ! 

(MAKESHIFT,  elated,  goes  over  to  PLEASURE — speaks  in 
pantomime.   She  ignores  him.   He  turns  away.) 

WEALTH 

(to  FRAILTY) 
Any  objection  to  my  taking  a  kiss  before  I  go? 

FRAILTY 

What  do  you  want  to  kiss  me  for? 

WEALTH 

Just  a  passing  fancy. 

FRAILTY 
(bitterly) 

Put  it  straight,  Pop.     You  mean  you  waivt  to  kiss  me  just 
because  you  can  pay  for  it. 

WEALTH 

Certainly — I  intend  to  pay  for  it. 


104  EXPERIENCE 

(Takes  out  a  "fat"  pocketbook — extracts  a  bill  therefrom 
and  puts  bill  on  table.} 

FRAILTY 

Gee!     You're  full  of  sentiment,  ain't  you? 

WEALTH 

Come  on;  I'm  not  in  the  habit  of  waiting. 

FRAILTY 

(turns — sees  him  putting  his  pocketbook  in  the  breast 

pocket  of  his  coat} 

All  right,  Pop,  you  can  kiss  me — and  you  bet  you'll  pay  for  it. 
(She  puts  one  arm  around  him — he  kisses  her  and  as  he 
does  so  she  steals  his  pocketbook.) 

WEALTH 

There,  my  girl,  that's  an  easy  way  to  earn  money,  isn't  it? 

FRAILTY 
(bitterly) 

Easy — sure !  Listen,  Pop ;  it's  guys  like  you  that  keeps  the 
devil  laughin'  his  head  off. 

(The  Slumming  Party  rises  from  the  table.) 

PLEASURE 

Come,  Wealth,  I'm  beginning  to  weary  of  slumming.  It's 
all  so  very  sordid.  I  wonder  why  people  select  this  sort 
of  life! 

WEALTH 

If  they  didn't  select  it  there  would  be  no  contrast  in  life  for 
us,  my  dear  Pleasure. 

(To  FRAILTY.) 
Good  night! 

FRAILTY 

Good  night,  Poo! 


EXPERIENCE  105 

(MAKESHIFT  leads  the  Slumming  Party  out  to  the  street. 
They  are  all  laughing  and  chattering  as  they  go.  The 
habitues  of  the  place  follow  the  Slumming  Party  to  the 
street  in  quest  of  spoil.  •  EXPERIENCE  exits,  followed  by 
the  pianist.  FRAILTY  goes  to  door  at  Left,  calls  YOUTH.) 

FRAILTY 

Come  here,  Kid ! 

(YouTH  enters.) 
It's  all  right  now — you  can  get  a  fresh  start. 

YOUTH 
What  do  you  mean? 

FRAILTY 

I  mean  you  got  money 

(Shows  the  pocketbook.) 
— money  to  lift  you  out  of  the  mud. 

YOUTH 

Where  did  you  get  that? 

FRAILTY 

I  snitched  it  from  old  Wealth. 

YOUTH 

Oh,  no,  girl,  no!     That's  dead  wrong. 

FRAILTY 

Wrong,  nothing.  He  wanted  to  kiss  me,  didn't  he? — and  I 
put  my  own  price  on  a  kiss  I  give  to  a  mutt  like  that. 

YOUTH 

But  it's  wrong,  girl! — we'll  have  to  call  him  back  to  give 
him  his  money.  • 

(He  starts  for  the  door.) 

FRAILTY 

(stopping  him) 

Listen,  Kid ;  don't  be  foolish.  He's  never  going  to  miss  it — - 
it's  only  car-fare  to  him  and  it's  a  life-saver  to  you — be 
sensible. 


106  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

Please,  girl.  Listen,  I  don't  want  his  money  and  neither 
do  you.  Give  me  the  pocketbook.  I'll  run  after  him 
and  give  it  to  him. 

(As  YOUTH  takes  the  pocketbook  and  starts  for  the  door 
enter  MAKESHIFT,  WEALTH  and  LAW,  a  Policeman. 
YOUTH  holds  the  pocketbook  under  his  arm.} 

MAKESHIFT 

(coming  down) 
Pulled  that  rough  stuff,  did  she? 

WEALTH 

Yes,  the  girl  must  have  taken  my  pocketbook.  I  didn't  speak 
to  anybody  else. 

MAKESHIFT 

Frisk  her,  Law.     She  must  have  it  on  her. 

LAW 

(handling  her  roughly) 
Come  on,  now;  turn  over  that  pocketbook.     Where  is  it? 

WEALTH 

It  isn't  the  amount  of  the  money — it's  just  the  idea  of  being 
robbed. 

LAW 

Come  across  with  that  coin — it's  five  years  for  you  this  time, 
my  girl. 

YOUTH 

(to  WEALTH) 
Here's  your  pocketbook.     Let  her  alone. 

LAW 

(turning  on  YOUTH) 
So  you're  the  one,  eh?    All  right,  I'll  take  you. 

FRAILTY 

No !  don't  take  him — I  stole  it  myself. 


EXPERIENCE  107 

YOUTH 

She  didn't  steal  it.    You  found  it  on  me,  didn't  you? 

MAKESHIFT 

It's  a  frame-up.    They're  both  in  on  it. 

LAW 
I'll  run  them  both  in. 

(To  WEALTH.) 

You,  Wealth,  appear  against  them  to-morrow  morning  at 
eight  o'clock. 

WEALTH 

Eight  o'clock!     Oh,  my  dear  Law^  that's  quite  impossible. 

LAW 

If  you  don't  press  the  charge  what  can  I  do? 

WEALTH 

And  it  might  get  in  the  newspapers — the  notoriety  would 

hurt  me.    Here ! 

(Takes  money  from  pocketbook — gives  it  to  MAKESHIFT.) 
Buy  some  cigars.     Let  them  go — 'it  doesn't  matter — I  have 

the  money  back  and  I  hate  to  get  up  so  early. 

LAW 

(to  FRAILTY  and  YOUTH) 

It's  a  narrow  squeak  for  you  two  crooks,  but  I'll  get  you  next 
time. 

(To  WEALTH.) 
Come  on,  I'll  walk  to  your  taxi  with  you. 

WEALTH 

Do,  please!    I'm  not  safe  in  this  part  of  town.    Good  night! 
(Exit  WEALTH  and  LAW.) 

MAKESHIFT 

Good  night! 

(Pause  for  a  moment — then  MAKESHIFT  speaks  to  YOUTH 
and  FRAILTY.) 


108  EXPERIENCE 

Well,  you  put  one  over  on  me,  didn't  you?  You  crabbed 
my  slumming  parties  by  makin'  my  house  a  hold-up  joint. 

(To  FRAILTY.) 
You — you! — Now  you  get  out  of  here! 

FRAILTY 

I'm  goin' — and  you  don't  have  to  tell  me. 

MAKESHIFT 

(to  YOUTH,  threateningly) 
And  I'll  attend  to  you  in  a  minute. 

(Exit  MAKESHIFT  at  L.) 

FRAILTY 

(going  to  YOUTH — tearfully} 

Good-bye,  Kid!  Listen,  please;  that  was  the  first  pocket- 
book  I  ever  snitched,  and  I  won't  do  it  again — you  believe 
me,  don't  you,  Kid? 

YOUTH 
I  do  believe  you,  girl,  I  do. 

FRAILTY 

Thanks!  It's  dark,  ain't  it? — black  dark  for  both  of  us. 
Say,  would  you  mind  kissing  me — just  as  if  you  was  my 
brother  ? 

(He  kisses  her.} 

Gee!     You're  nice,  Kid,  a-nd  I  won't  never  forget  you — and 
you'll   hold   on,   won't  you? — Hold   on   to  something — 
maybe  there'll  come  a  light  for  you  through  the  darkness. 
(Enter  MAKESHIFT.) 

MAKESHIFT 

(to  FRAILTY) 
Come  on  now,  get  out  of  here,  you  little  crook. 

FRAILTY 

(turning  on  him) 

Say,  you  big  stiff,  if  I  was  as  crooked  as  you  are  I'd  roll  out 
of  here  like  a  hoop. 


EXPERIENCE  109 

(To  YOUTH.) 

Good-bye,  Kid!  I'm  goin'  to  try  to  pray  to  God  for  you 
and  He  might  hear  me  even  if  it's  too  late  to  pray  for 

myself Good-bye ! 

(She  goes  out  quietly  and  closes  the  door  behind  her.} 

MAKESHIFT 

(to  YOUTH) 
Now,  you! 

(Crosses  to  him.) 

I  told  you  I  was  goin'  to  boot  you  out  of  here  and  I  aa,, 
I  had  no  business  to  take  you  in  in  the  first  placc--^."i 
might  of  knowed  you  was  a  dirty  thief! 

YOUTH 

That's  enough! 

(He  turns  on  MAKESHIFT — hits  him — they  fight.  MAKE 
SHIFT  is  too  powerful  for  him  and  finally  knocks  YOUTH 
down — he  lies  there,  unconscious,  on  the  floor.} 

MAKESHIFT 

Now  you  crawl  out  of  here  or  I'll  break  j^our  neck! 

(MAKESHIFT  walks  off  at  Left.  YOUTH  lies  there  in 
silence  for  five  seconds.  EXPERIENCE  < opens  the  door — 
hoks  around  for  YOUTH — sees  him  lying  there  sense- 
ta,,  J-gfrvj  to  him — revives  him — gets  him  on  his  feet.) 

EXPERIENCE 

It's  all  right,  my  boy!     I'm  with  you! 

YOUTH 

(exhausted) 

He  was  too  heavy  for  me — too  heavy,  that's  it.  But  I'll  try 
again,  when  I  get  my  breath. 

(POVERTY,  a  gruesome  figure  clad  in  rags,  enters  through 
the  doorway.     YOUTH  turns — sees  him — is  frightened.) 
Look!  look!  who  is  that? 

EXPERIENCE 
Poverty ' 


110  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

Poverty ! 

POVERTY 

I  am  always  waiting  to  greet  those  who  are  thrown  out  of 
The  House  of  Last  Resort. 

YOUTH 
Well,  you  needn't  wait  for  me. 

(Turns  his  back  on  him.) 

EXPERIENCE 

You  can't  snub  Poverty,  my  boy ;  he's  had  nothing  but  curses 
since  the  world  began  but  he  thrives  upon  them. 

POVERTY 

The  boy  doesn't  know  who  I  am. 

YOUTH 

(turning  quickly) 

I  do  know  you!  You  are  Death's  step-brother — I  know! 
When  you  come  creeping  into  a  home  Happiness  dies 
from  fright — and  with  your  touch  you  turn  the  hours  of 
enjoyment  into  ages  of  despair.  Grin  at  me,  if  you  will, 
but  I  know  you  to  be  the  King  of  Suffering  and  all  the 
sorrows  of  the  world  are  your  courtiers.  Go  on,  grin, 
grin — but  you're  not  going  to  get  me — not  while  I  can 

hold  my  head  up — not  while  I  can  struggle  and  fight 

(Picks  up  chair.) 

Go  on,  now;  get  out  of  here,  damn  you — get  out!  get  out! 
get  out! 

(YouTH  is  driving  POVERTY  towards  the  door  as  the  cur 
tain  falls.) 

THE  END  OF  THE  EPISODE. 

INTERVAL. 


THE  SEVENTH  EPISODE. 

IN   THE   STREET   OF   REMORSE. 

DESCRIPTION  :     A  gloomy  side-street  at  dawn. 
DISCOVERED:     YOUTH  and  EXPERIENCE  walking  on. 

YOUTH 

(going  through  his  empty  pockets) 

Gone!  gone!     I  threw  away  every  penny  I  had — and  I'm 
sick — sick  in  body  and  mind  and  soul. 

EXPERIENCE 

Of  course,  you're  sick — and  you're  broke — and  your  nerves 
are  all  gone — but  you're  living. 

YOUTH 

Yes,  but  I've  lost  Ambition.     I  don't  seem  to  care  any  more 
what  happens. 

EXPERIENCE 

You're  in  the  valley  now,  my  boy,  and  it's  a  hard  climb  up 
the  mountain-side. 

(POVERTY  enters.) 

YOUTH 

See — there  he  is  again — he's  been  following  me  for  days — 
speak  to  him — send  him  away. 

EXPERIENCE 

(turning — sees  POVERTY) 
Who — him?    Why  send  him  away? 

(Goes  to  POVERTY.) 
Well  met,  old  friend  Poverty. 

POVERTY 

We've  been  through  many  a  hard  fight  together,  haven't  we, 
Experience  ? 

(Laughs  mirthlessly.) 

(in) 


112  EXPERIENCE 

EXPERIENCE 

Youth,  the  time  has  come  now — you  must  meet  Poverty. 

YOUTH 

I  don't  want  to  meet  him — don't  you  see  he  frightens  me. 
Tell  him  to  go  away — I  can't  bear  the  sight  of  him. 

POVERTY 

That's  the  trouble  with  me — I  never  was  much  of  a  hand 
for  making  a  good  impression  on  anybody. 

(Laughs  mirthlessly  over  YOUTH'S  shoulder.) 

YOUTH 

(jumping  away) 

Merciful  God!  why  does  he  come  so  close  to  me? — I  can't 
stand  it — I'm  too  nervous,  I  tell  you. 
(POVERTY  leers  at  him.) 

EXPERIENCE 

You'll  find  he's  not  such  a  bad  looking  chap  if  you  can  get 

the  courage  to  like  him. 
(DELUSION  enters.    He*  is  a  "dope" — sallow-faced  and  thin.) 

DELUSION 
(to  EXPERIENCE) 
How're  you,  Bo — slip  me! 

(Puts  out  his  hand  to  EXPERIENCE.) 

EXPERIENCE 

(shaking  hands  with  DELUSION) 

Oh,  it's  my  old  friend,  Delusion — glad  to  see  you — how  are 
they  coming? 

DELUSION 

In  carriages,  Bo — right  up  to  the  front  door  in  carriages — 
it's  a  gay  life  if  you  play  it  with  a  copper  on. 

EXPERIENCE 

Youth,  I  want  you  to  know  my  friend,  Delusion. 


EXPERIENCE  113 

DELUSION 

(putting  out  his  hand  to  YOUTH) 
Slip  me,  Kid! 

YOUTH 

Delusion — I'm  glad  to  meet  you. 

DELUSION 

That  goes  double 

( Indicating  POVERTY.  ) 

— but  it  don't  take  in  the  look-out.    Why  do  you  let  that 
false-alarm  get  near  enough  to  pass  you  the  crushed  ice? 

YOUTH 
I  can't  get  away  from  him. 

DELUSION 

Yes,  you  can,  Bo.     I'll  take  you  away  from  him. 

YOUTH 

You! 

DELUSION 

Sure ! — That's  the  best  thing  I  do — getting  people  away  from 
old  frost-face.  I've  got  a  forget-factory  right  around  the 
corner.  Come  on,  I'll  put  you  wise. 

YOUTH 

(to  POVERTY) 

You  thought  you  had  me,  damn  you — but  my  friend  has 
fooled  you.  Hereafter  you  can  frighten  somebody  else — 
you  rotten  old  loafer! 

DELUSION 

Cut  out  the  criticism,  Kid — take  to  your  O'Sullivan's  and 
follow  Dandy  Dan. 

(DELUSION  walks  off  hurriedly  at  Left.) 

YOUTH 

(following  DELUSION) 
Come  on,  Experience,  are  you  with  me? 

(YOUTH  hurries  off  at  Left.) 


114  EXPERIENCE 

EXPERIENCE 

(sadly) 
Only  a  miracle  can  save  him  now. 

POVERTY 

,  (chuckling) 

Poor  fool!  he'll  find  there  are  worse  things  in  the  world  than 
Poverty ! 

EXPERIENCE 

Oh,  well,  it's  the  privilege  of  Youth  to  enjoy  first  and  suffer 
after.  And  while  he  learns  this  lesson  I  must  hold  the 
book  for  him. — Farewell,  old  friend! 

(EXPERIENCE  walks  off  at  Left.) 

POVERTY 
(chuckling) 

And  when  Delusion  is  through  with  the  young  fool  I'll  get 
him 

(chuckles) 

— if  he  doesn't  fall  into  the  clutches  of  something  worse  at 
heart  than  I  am. 


THE   END  OF  THE   EPISODE. 


THE  EIGHTH  EPISODE. 

IN   THE   HOUSE  OF  LOST  SOULS. 

DESCRIPTION :  A  dilapidated  room  in  the  poorer  quarter  of 
of  city.  A  window  in  back — broken 
panes  stuffed  with  rags.  Rickety  furni 
ture — a  cheap  table  and  chairs.  One  door 
at  Right. 

DISCOVERED:  A  girl,  HABIT,  a  dope-fiend,  is  discovered 
rocking  to  and  fro  in  a  chair  and  moan 
ing.  In  the  background  is  an  old  hag, 
DEGRADATION,  snivelling  and  cackling  by 
turns — a  drug  victim  in  the  advanced 
stages. 

DEGRADATION 

(placing  powder  on  hand) 

I'd  give  you  a  sniff,  Habit — but  I  ain't  got  no  more. 
(Sniffs.) 

HABIT 

Keep  it  and  be  damned  to  you,  Degradation! 

DEGRADATION 

(pulling  herself  together  and  bracing  up  under  the  influence 

of  the  drug) 

I  crawled  through  a  sewer  for  the  money  to  get  that — and 
it's  worth  it. 

(DELUSION  enters  through  door  at  Right.     HABIT  go*s 
to  him.) 

HABIT 

Delusion,  please,  gi'me  some — quick! 

(115) 


116  EXPERIENCE 

DELUSION 

I  ain't  got  none — get  away! 

HABIT 

(on  her  knees) 
For  the  love  of  God,  just  enough  to  bring  me  back  from  hell. 

DELUSION 

(pushing  her  aside  roughly — she  falls  on  floor) 
Aw,  get  away — don't  you  know  that  coke  is  getting  scarce, 

DEGRADATION 
(grinning  inanely) 
Getting  scarce!1 

DELUSION 

I  ain't  got  none  to  spare  for  a  frail  like  you — I'm  saving 
this  for  a  kid  that  needs  it  bad. 

(YOUTH  appears  in  the  door  at  Right.  As  he  enters  he 
sees  DEGRADATION  grinning  at  him  and,  afraid,  he  turns 
to  go  and  finds  EXPERIENCE  standing  in  the  door.) 

EXPERIENCE 

It's  all  right,  my  boy — I'm  with  you. 

(YouTH  enters  the  room,  afraid  and  with  nervous  steps.) 
Youth,  do  you  want  to  meet  Degradation? 

YOUTH 

No,  no;  I  should  say  not. 

EXPERIENCE 

Very  well ;  it's  up  to  you. 

HABIT 

(getting  up  on  her  knees  to  YOUTH) 

Please,  if  you  pity  those  who  suffer,  get  me  just  enough  to 
bring  me  back. 

YOUTH 

(to  DELUSION) 
What  does  she  mean  ? 


EXPERIENCE  117 

DELUSION 

Aw,  don't  pay  no  attention  to  her — she's  squealin'  for  a  sniff 
of  coke — she  had  fifty  cents  worth  yesterday  and  she  don't 

share  it  with  nobody Come  here,  Kid ! 

-  ( Takes   out  small   package   containing   white  powder  as 

YOUTH  goes  to  him.) 
And  you,  too,  old  pal,  Experience! 

(EXPERIENCE  goes  to  his  Left.) 

This  is  all  there  is  in  the  shop,  see — and  it's  harder  to  get 
than  a  front  seat  in  Heaven. 

(HABIT  watches  them  like  a  hungry  hawk — DEGRADATION 
snivelling  and  grinning  in  the  background.) 
Now,  Kid,  hold  your  hand  like  that,  see! 

(YouTH  does  so — DELUSION  pours  a  little  of  the  powder 
on  YOUTH'S  hand.) 
Go  on  now,  sniff  it  up  your  nose. 

(As  YOUTH  starts  to  do  so,  HABIT  suddenly  pounces  on 
him — grabs  his  hand  and  sniffs  the  cocaine — DELUSION 
jumps  for  her — she  gets  the  table  between  them.) 

Say,  what  are  you  trying  to  pull? 

HABIT 

Go  on,  strike  me — beat  me — murder  me — I   don't  care' — I 

got  it  and  I'm  coming  back — I'm  coming  back  from  \:T^ 

(Laughs  and  is  joined  in  the  laugh  by  DEGRADATION — - 

the  change  in   her  manner,  under  the  influence   of  the 

drug,  is  marked.) 

DELUSION 

Aw,  you  make  me  sick — get  out  and  hustle  for  your  own  hop. 
(Enter  CRIME — a  burly  bully — but  a  dope  fiend.) 

CRIME 

(in  the  door) 
Say,  Delusion,  got  any  dope? 

(YoUTH,  afraid  of  CRIME,  hides  behind  EXPERIENCE.) 


118  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

(frightened) 
Who  is  that! 

EXPERIENCE 

Crime ! 

CRIME 

(to  DELUSION) 

Well,  how  about  it?  Come  across  with  the  makin's  for  one 
jolt,  will  you!  See,  I'm  nearly  in — I  just  had  a  mix-up, 
see — and  I  croaked  a  guy — in  cold  blood,  the  Cops  will 
tell  you — I'm  beginnin'  to  see  the  Chair — everywhere 
I  look— 

(Turns — sees  DEGRADATIFN  grinning  at  him.) 
Take  that  grin  off  your  face  or  I'll  knock  your  block  off. 
(Reaches  for  gun.) 

DELUSION 
(pacifying  him) 

Just  enough  left  for  one  sniff  all  around.  Here  you  are, 
Crime! 

(Pours  powder  on  CRIME'S  hand.) 
Here's  yours,  Experience!     Here,  Kid,  go  to  it!1 

(Gives   some    to    each — turns — finds  DEGRADATION  grin 
ning  at  his  elbow.) 

Beat  it,  you  bum — s'pose  I'm  going  to  waste  this  good  stuff 
on  you? 

(All  sniff.  YOUTH  sniffs  some  of  his  and,  without  being 
noticed  by  the  others,  gives  some  to  HABIT.  All  sniff 
and  the  effect  is  speedily  noticeable.  DEGRADATION  in 
the  background,  snivelling  and  grinning.) 

CRIME 

(under  the  influence  of  the  drug) 

What,  me! — I  should  say  not! — There  ain't  no  Chair  waitin 
for  me-T-I'm  independent,  I  am — I  got  a  saloon  and  I'm 


EXPERIENCE  119 

rich — I'm  Boss  of  my  ward — that's  what  I  am — I'm  Boss. 
(His  face  reflects  the  wonders  he  dreams.    DEGRADATION 
laughs. ) 

YOUTH 

Wonderful!     I'm   floating  over  an   azure  sea  and  summer 
breezes  sing  sweet  lullabies  as  I  sail  on  and  on. 
(His  face  reflects  his  thoughts  of  happiness.  DEGRADATION 
laughs.} 

HABIT 

(in  ecstasy) 

I'm  back  in  my  home  town — see,  there's  my  mother — "Hello, 
Jennie!"  she  says.  You  are  glad  to  see  me,  ain't  you, 
Mumsey — see,  I'm  rich — look  at  all  the  nice  things  I 
brought  you  and  I  ain't  never  goin'  away  from  you 

again,  Mumsey,  never,  never 

(Her  voice  dies  away  and  she  drops  limply  in  the  chair. 
DEGRADATION  laughs.) 

YOUTH 
(alarmed) 

What's  the  matter? — the  azure  sea  is  gone — there  are  cruel 
rocks  in  its  place  and  a  cold  wind  is  howling  about  me. 
(The  laces  of  the  others  show  that  the  ecstatic  effect  of 
the  drug  is  working  off.) 

EXPERIENCE 

It's  the  treacherous,  lying  drug,  my  boy — it  carries  you  out 
into  an  ocean  of  glory  and  leaves  you  there — to  perish  of 
thirst  and  hunger. 

CRIME 

There  it  is  again — that  damn  Chair ! 

(Sniffs  his  hand  in  a  vain  effort  to  get  more  of  the  powder.) 

HABIT 

Oh,  my  God — no,  no,  no — don't  let  me  wake — don't!  don't! 
(  DEGRADATION  laughs — -DELUSION  stirs  around  in  his  seat 
uneasily — feels  in  his  pocket — sniffs  his  hand.     POVERTY 
appears — looking  through  window  in  back.) 


120  EXPERIENCE 

YOUTH 

My  head  is  bursting  with  pain 


( Turns — screams. ) 

Look!    look!    there's    Poverty  leering  at    me  through    the 
window. 

(Shaking  DELUSION.) 
You  lied  to  me,  damn  you — you  told  me  I'd  forget. 

DELUSION 

(looking  up  at  YOUTH  sleepily) 
No  more — no  more ! 

(Relapses  into   troubled  sleep.) 
YOUTH 

I  can't  stand  this  pain — there  must  be  some  way  to  get  more 
of  that  stuff. 

*) 

EXPERIENCE 

Only  one  way — tKrough  him — Crime. 

YOUTH 
(hesitates — then,  driven  by  a  mirthless  laugh  from  POVERTY, 

goes  to  CRIME) 
All  right,  Crime ;  come  on. 

CRIME 

Yes,  yes,  we'll  go  together  and  get  it — just  a  minute — wait 

till  they  cover  up  that  damned  Chair. 

(Screams  in  fright.) 
Don't!  don't  take  me  there — no,  no;  I'm  not  ready  yet — no, 

no! 

HABIT 
(moaning) 

Le'me  go  back  there — just  an  hour — just  an  hour!1 
(DEGRADATION  laughs.) 

YOUTH 

(sinking  down  in  a  chair) 
Oh,  what  is  this  that's  tearing  at  my  heart? 


EXPERIENCE  121 

EXPERIENCE 

The  agony  that  tears  at  every  heart  when  Nature  is  ill- 
treated  and  reviled. 

(  DEGRADATION    laughs   inanely — CRIME  and   DELUSION 
groan — HABIT  moans  in  pain.) 

Suffer!  suffer! — we  are  poor  lost  souls — all  of  us — harried 
and  scourged  through  every  dark  recess  of  hell  by  fiends 
incarnate 

(Groans  and  moans  as  before.) 

Suffer!  suffer! — miserable  human  wrecks,  rotting  on  the 
shores  of  time — our  minds  nothing  but  dismal  swamps 
full  of  loathsome  vapors  and  each  body  the  home  of  hor 
rors  unspeakable. 

(Groans  as  before.) 

Hear  our  groans  and  look  at  us — we  who  are  made  in  the 
image  of  God,  grovelling  like  beasts  in  the  dirt  of  ages. 
And  why — why — because  there  are  those  who  call  them 
selves  men  wTho  sell  and  barter  this  vile  stuff  that  they 
may  rise  to  riches  through  the  agonies  of  the  weak — a 
curse  upon  them — the  curse  of  a  multitude  of  murdered 
souls  follow  them  through 'all  the  confines  of  eternity. 

(HABIT  screams  and  falls  on  the  floor.) 
Oh!  Everlasting  God!  mercy,  mercy,  mercy! 

(Drops   exhausted — head   on    table — all   are   moaning   in 
pain.) 


THE  END  OF  THE  EPISODE. 


THE  NINTH  EPISODE. 

IN  THE  STREET  OF  FORGOTTEN  DAYS. 

DESCRIPTION:  A  Street  showing  the  end  of  a  church  at 
Right — with  a  stained  glass  window, 
lighted  up. 

DISCOVERED:  CRIME,  walking  into  the  scene,  followed  by 
YOUTH  and  EXPERIENCE. 

CRIME 

Come  on;  it's  only  a  block  away.     I'll  have  to  beat  that 
coke  peddler  over  the  head  to  get  it. 

(Just  as  they  step  within  the  light  from  the  stained  glass 
window  of  the  church  the  organist  plays  a  familiar  hymn. 
YOUTH  stops — EXPERIENCE  stops — CRIME  take?  a  step 
or  two — stops.) 

YOUTH 

Listen ! 

( They  all  listen  to  a  few  bars  of  the  music.) 

CRIME 

Aw,  come  on ! 

YOUTH 

Where  are  we? 

EXPERIENCE 

In  the  Street  of  Forgotten  Days. 

(They  are  silent  as  the  organist  goes  on.) 

CRIME 

Say,  get  a  move  on  you! 

(122) 


EXPERIENCE  123 

YOUTH 

Wait!  Some  good  angel  has  come  to  me  on  the  wings  of 
that  music.  Through  the  mist  in  my  mind  I  seem  to 

see 

(To  EXPERIENCE.) 

Help  me — there's  someone  stretching  out  her  hand  to  me. 

EXPERIENCE 

Your  mother! 

YOUTH 

Yes,  yes;  my — my  mother! 

(The  music  swells  out.) 

CRIME 

Say!  what's  the  matter  with  you? — Come  on! 

YOUTH 
(to  CRIME) 
Wait — please ! 

(To  EXPERIENCE.) 
Tell  me — your  vision  is  clearer  than  mine. 

EXPERIENCE 

Don't  you  remember  the  little  church  on  that  green-topped 
hill  across  the  valley — and  the  woman  whose  voice  was 
kindness  itself 

YOUTH 

My  dear  dead  mother! 

EXPERIENCE 

How  proudly  she  dressed  you  in  your  Sunday  best  and  led 
you  by  the  hand  into  the  cool  shadows  of  the  church  and 
bade  you  remember  always  the  simple  teachings  you  heard 
there  together! 

YOUTH 

My  mother — she  comes  to  me  now  in  the  Street  of  Forgotten 
Days — the  Street  of  Forgotten  Days ! 

(Just  then  from  the  church  is  heard  the  hymn:) 


124  EXPERIENCE 

"Lead  Kindly  Light, 
-  Amid  the  encircling  gloom — 
Lead  Thou  me  on  ; 
The  night  is  dark 
And  I  am  far  from  home — 
Lead  Thou  me  on !" 

(YouTH,  with  a  gesture,  commands  CRIME  to  leave  him — • 
then  sinks  sobbing  on  his  knees  beneath  the  church  win 
dow — CRIME  slinks  off  at  Right.) 

EXPERIENCE 

(after  a  pause — as  the  music  dies  away) 
The  miracle  has  come  to  pass.     The  never  dying  miracle 
of  a  mother's  love! 

THE  END  OF  THE  EPISODE. 


THE  TENTH   EPISODE. 

IN    THE   LAND   WHERE   THE   DREAMER   WAKENS. 

DESCRIPTION  :     The  same  as  The  First  Episode. 

DISCOVERED:  LOVE  standing  by  the  fence,  looking  off  down 
the  lane.  She  turns  presently  and  sits, 
dejectedly,  on  the  bench.  HOPE  enters 
from  the  cottage. 

HOPE 

No  sign  of  him,  yet? 

LOVE 
No — no  sign. 

HOPE 

(comforting    LOVE) 
He'll  be  back  soon — I'm  sure  he  will. 

LOVE 

No,  Hope;  he  isn't  coming  back.     I  can  believe  in  you  no 
longer.     Please  go  away. 

HOPE 
Go  away,  dear? 

LOVE 

No,  no;  I  didn't  mean  that.     Without  you,  Hope,  m/  life 
would  indeed  be  cheerless. 

HOPE 

k  vnew  you  didn't  mean  it.    But  you  must  be  patient.     HeT 
be  with  you  soon — even  now  I  feel  his  presence  near  u\. 
(125) 


126  EXPERIENCE 

(HOPE  goes  in  the  cottage.  LOVE  remains  sitting  dejectedly 
on  the  bench.  Presently  YOUTH  appears  outside  the  fence 
— he  stands  looking  at  her  for  a  few  seconds,  then  enters 
slowly  through  the  gate  and  stands  near  the  bench.) 

YOUTH 
(softly) 
Love! 

LOVE 

(getting  up  quickly) 
Youth! 

(Embraces  and  kisses  him.) 

YOUTH 
You — you've  waited  for  me! 

LOVE 

Waited  for  you,  oh!  dear  Youth!  I've  waited  when  every 
hour  was  an  age  and  every  day  an  eternity.  But  now  that 
I  have  you  again  all  my  heartaches  are  forgotten  in  the 
joy  of  seeing  you. 

(EXPERIENCE  appears  outside  the  fence — remains  there  a 
few  seconds — then  enters  through  the  gate  and  stands 
near  YOUTH.) 

YOUTH 

But  the  ring — you  haven't  asked  me !  You  see,  dear,  it  didn't 
keep  all  the  evil  away  from  me  because 

LOVE 

(interrupting) 

Don't  tell  me  anything.  I  know  by  the  light  shining  from 
your  eyes  that  your  soul  is  still  white  and  clean. 

EXPERIENCE 

The  eyes  of  Love  are  keen  and  their  vision  reaches  to  the 
distant  border-land  of  Truth. 


EXPERIENCE  127 

YOUTH 

Oh,  pardon  me,  Love — this  is  my  friend,  Experience — to  be 
evermore  my  best-remembered  friend.  He  has  been  with 
me  always  and  he  shall  be  my  historian. 

EXPERIENCE 

Yes,  but  by  the  fireside — later  on! 

(  HOPE  enters  from  the  cottage.    YOUTH  goes  to  her  and 
embraces  her.) 

YOUTH 
Hope !  dear,  dear  sister ! 

HOPE 
Youth,  I'm  so  glad  you're  back. 

LOVE 

(going  to  YOUTH) 

Oh,  Youth,  how  pale  you  look — and  worn  and  weary.  TeU 
me,  did  you  lose  your  fight  for  fame  and  fortune? 

EXPERIENCE 

He  lost  his  first  fight  but  in  losing  he  conquered  the  evils 
in  his  own  heart — and  that's  the  greater  victory. 

LOVE 
But,  Youth,  aren't  you  going  to  fight  again? 

EXPERIENCE 

Of  course  he'll  fight  again. 

LOVE 
You  haven't  told  me — where  is  Ambition? 

YOUTH 
(sadly) 
He  is  dead. 

HOPE 

No,   no,  Youth — Ambition  sleeps  but  he  never  dies.     I'll 
waken  him  and  bring  him  back  to  you. 
(Exit  HOPE.) 


128  EXPERIENCE 

EXPERIENCE 

And  when  Ambition  leads  you  forth  again  Love  shall  be  by 
your  side  and  Experience  shall  carry  the  implements  of 
war — and  you'll  win  this  time,  my  boy — you'll  win  the 
heights  of  fame  and  fortune! 

(HOPE  enters,  leading  AMBITION  by  the  hand.) 

AMBITION 
(smiling) 
Youth! 

YOUTH 

( eagerly ) 

Oh,  Ambition,  give  me  your  hand  again  and  let  me  try  to 
walk  with  steps  of  faith  upon  that  long  and  narrow 
road — the  only  road  that  leads  to  Love  and  Happiness. 

(AMBITION  puts  one  arm  around  YOUTH  and  the  other 
around  LOVE.  He  smiles  upon  them  both.  EXPERIENCE 
and  HOPE  show  their  approval.) 


THE   END  OF   THE   PLAY 


IOAN  DEPT. 


,G.V 

434492 

,ce 

954 
31 
e 

«*, 

—  •"  '  —  '  .  

^  M 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


